Kaguya Vs Mokou: The Ultimate Showdown!
by UnendingEmpire
Summary: Eirin and Keine finally have enough of the constant  and deadly  fights between Kaguya and Mokou, and arrange to start a long series of events to  hopefully  settle this rivalry once and for all.  Along the way, the unexpected occurs between these rivals.
1. Chapter 1

**I appear to have taken a liking to Kaguya recently. I wonder why?**

**Maybe because I think she looks like Kiri Komori from Sayonara Zetsubou-Sensei? Or is it because she's Gensokyo's resident NEET? Or maybe I'm just random like that...a combination of all three!**

**Anyway, lemme explain a bit more details...**

**Each chapter will be dedicated to a different event in this Kaguya vs Mokou competition. Each event will have a different guest judge (Eirin and Keine are judges in all of them) and the first event is...**

**A surprise!**

* * *

><p>Kaguya walked into Eientei, looking like she'd just risen from the dead. That description would be highly accurate. There were third-degree burns all over her body, her clothes barely hung onto her body anymore, and altogether she looked like she'd been to hell and back. "Eirin," she wearily called. "I'm home…Eirin?" That was odd. Usually, Eirin was there almost instantly when Kaguya announced her return. "Eirin?" Was she going out for a house call? To Kaguya's memory, Eirin didn't do those…but to Kaguya's memory, Mokou was the one that started the constant fights between the princess and the phoenix, so it was actually <em>very<em> possible that Eirin did house calls.

* * *

><p>Saturday. Mokou's favorite day of the week. Back when she was a child, it was because the weekend off from school began, and now that she was immortal and her best friend was a teacher…it was still the exact same reason that Mokou loved Saturdays so much. Friday was okay too, but there was still school so Mokou would be wracked with impatience since the weekend was so damn close. But, oddly, Keine was nowhere to be seen. So, Mokou just sat on a rock in the Bamboo Forest of the Lost where she and Keine usually met, taking one long drag on a cigarette. Maybe if she were lucky, she'd run into Kaguya instead. That would make it four days in a row where she got to kill her eternal rival. Mokou exhaled the smoke, creating a sizeable cloud of a variety of stuff that was bad for people. Since Mokou was immortal, it wasn't like it mattered much. Still, where the hell was Keine?<p>

* * *

><p>"You don't know the half of it," Keine said to Eirin. The two had met somewhere far from their usual locations, so that Kaguya andor Mokou would not find them. They were meeting to try and find a way to either stop or at least slightly cool down the eternal and infernal (pun very much intended) rivalry between Mokou and Kaguya. "Do you know how many times Mokou's bragged about how she thought of some new creative way to kill your princess? It sets a very bad example for my students."

"I know what you mean," Eirin replied. "Kaguya spends all her time either playing video games from the outside world or begging myself and the rest of Eientei to build things from those games. Do you have any idea what a Wabbajack is?"

"Can't say I do…"

"Me neither." Eirin placed one of her hands firmly against her forehead, using the arm as a support to stop herself from slamming her head onto the table. "We need to get them to stop. For their good, our mental well-being, the views your students have on casual murder, and for the sake of the rabbits at Eientei who don't know what the hell a Wabbajack is, we have to make them stop." But how? How would they get those two; a lunatic princess and a girl who let herself get possessed by a phoenix just to have more power with which to kill said princess; to stop this endless fighting and killing of each other? Then a light bulb went off in Eirin's head. "Oh, I know what to do…"

"Really? Please tell."

"It may sound stupid, but I propose a lengthy series of events in which the two will be forced to compete in!"

"Really?" Keine's head was about to sink into her arms that rested on the table between the two, but then it rose back up. "I think you're on to something here, Eirin. Alright, tonight, bring Kaguya to my school in the human village! I have to go make preparations…oh, I hope I didn't choose the wrong location." Even if Mokou and Kaguya wound up destroying the school, Keine could just alter history to make it as though it never happened. Still, what if they destroyed the whole village?

Nah, it was sort of Mokou's unofficial job to guard that village along with Keine, and sometimes that half-youkai who ran the shop not far from the village. What was its name? Kourindou? Yeah, definitely Kourindou. _Ah, that reminds me. Later today, I'll have to visit Rinnosuke; I'm sure the outside world has "given" us some more textbooks._

* * *

><p>Kaguya couldn't avert her eyes from the computer screen. She was a NEET; this was her specialty. The Lunarian princess had started a new file on Skyrim to amuse herself, and had been toying around with console commands. Her plan? Rename everybody in the game to Fujiwara no Mokou and kill them all! So far, she'd covered about 80% of the game's characters in part one of her creative (and extremely time-wasting; she'd been at this for almost ten hours) plot. Using even more commands, Kaguya (that dirty little cheater) had given herself top-notch armor and weapons, as well as every spell and Dragon Shout. However, one thing didn't change between her usual files and this one. She was playing a Dark Elf named Teruyo, who specialized in melee combat and healing magic. For Dragon Shouts, Kaguya <em>always<em> had Unrelenting Force equipped, but now she was getting impatient with naming everybody Fujiwara no Mokou.

Then, almost as if her impatience had been detected, Eirin walked through the door to Kaguya's room. "Are you playing your new game again?"

"Yes," Kaguya replied happily. "Nearly two months since the release and I still haven't gotten tired of Skyrim. Oh, that reminds me, how's the progress on making a real-life Wabbajack going?"

"Well…"

* * *

><p><strong>Five weeks ago…<strong>

Reisen; poor Reisen; was the test subject for what should have been Kaguya's new weapon. So far, she'd grown extra ears, lost ears, turned just about every color under the sun, and had some transformations that, for the reader's sake, will not be listed here. Now she was finally catching a short break, and was back to her normal self thanks to a special medicine made by Eirin herself. The rabbit that was testing the Wabbajack?

Tewi, of course. "Alright, ready for another round?"

"W-What? N-N-No, don't fire that!" _ZAP!_

"…Relatively well."

* * *

><p>"Awesome! How long do you think it'll take to finish?"<p>

"I'm guessing…"

* * *

><p><strong>Three weeks ago…<strong>

"Undo it!"

"I can't!"

"Figure something out!" Reisen's limbs had been turned into masses of rampaging tentacles in Tewi's most recent test shot, and the new body parts were flailing all over the room, destroying just about everything in the process. Reisen herself was closing in on hysterics; what kind of punishment would be in order when this destruction was seen by Eirin? And when it was learned that Reisen was the one who had done this?

* * *

><p>"…I'd rather not give you a specific timeframe."<p>

"Fine, be that way. Also, I was walking by the infirmary a couple weeks ago and saw Reisen was out like a light bulb and hooked up to all kinds of machines. Did she get slammed by a bulldozer or something?"

"Let's go with that." Why was Eirin letting herself get distracted like this? There wasn't time for that; there was a rivalry to settle! Kaguya's toy would have to wait! "But I came here for something important. We're going to the human village."

"Now?"

"Now."

"Can I at least finish re-naming all these-"

"_Now_."

"But…"

"Your game will be there when you get back, Princess Kaguya."

"Yeah, but it's bad for the machine to leave it running."

"Can't you save?"

"_Fine_. I'll just quicksave…done. Okay, let's go."

* * *

><p>Mokou had gone through seven or eight packs of cigarettes just waiting on that same damn rock for Keine to show up. She'd wait here for her entire life if she had to; she literally had all the time in the world. Frankly, at this point, she was staying on that rock because she was so outraged with herself; that she decided to just sit on a rock instead of actually go out and find either Keine and hang out, or Kaguya and fry some Lunarians.<p>

"Enjoying the moon?" Keine nudged Mokou's arm a bit with her elbow, and said "Sorry I'm late; I had business to attend to."

"Must've been some pretty important business. I've been sitting here all day long!"

"That's quite a lot of patience you have there. Come on, I've got some wrapping up to do at the school; care to help out a bit?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Glad to hear it."

* * *

><p>Mokou looked around at the boxes of seemingly random items in neatly-piled stacks around the school. "What the hell? Keine, are you moving?" There <em>was<em> a sign out front that said the schoolhouse would be closed for a while, and that Keine wouldn't be teaching. At least the sign also said that classes were going to be in the center of the human village and would be taught be Hidea no Akyu. All in all, it actually did look a bit like Keine was moving.

"No, Mokou, I'm not moving. But I am glad you showed up."

"You _dragged_ me here _by my hair_. What's so important that-"

"Eirin, what's Mokou doing here?"

Mokou's head, as though it were automatic, turned toward the source of the unexpected (and, if Mokou were calling the shots, uninvited) third voice; a voice that got Mokou angry by just hearing it. "Keine, what's Kaguya doing here?"

* * *

><p><strong>Guess there's no event in this chapter. Oh well, at least I was able to get a whole chapter spent on getting ready for this chain of events. I'm very tired as I'm writing this note; it's past midnight here and I need to sleep. These were written the night before this chapter got uploaded, and I hope you enjoyed this first chapter. Leave me reviews with ideas for what events Kaguya and Mokou can compete in, be it something serious or something stupid, as long as nobody has an obvious upper hand<strong>


	2. Chapter 2: The First Event!

**Sorry this chapter took so long. I kinda forgot about this fanfic for a while, but it should be smooth sailing from here. Let the first competition begin!**

* * *

><p>"I'm glad you asked," Keine said. Opening up one of the boxes, the were-hakutaku pulled out a circular board and a few sharp knives. "Eirin, please explain to these two while I set up the first event."<p>

"Alright." Eirin cleared her throat, making an effort of keeping Kaguya from rabidly charging a Mokou who was smirking at the Lunarian's attempts to wiggle free of Eirin's grip. "Earlier today, Keine and I met up quite some distance from Eientei, or the Bamboo Forest of the Lost for that matter. The purpose of our meeting was to figure out a way to get you two to stop fighting."

"Never gonna happen," Mokou said, quickly becoming angered.

"So you think. We concluded that by competing _without_ killing each other, the two of you might at least simmer down a bit. Each event will be different and each will be judged by myself, Keine, and a guest judge."

"Who's the guest? Is it Reisen?" Mokou's eyes burst aflame (metaphorically speaking) as she asked "Are you trying to give Kaguya an advantage?"

"Nothing of the sort. The guest judges will be different depending on the event, and they will never have any notable association with Eientei, the human village's school, or any of the four of us."

"Alright," Keine said happily. "It's done!" Keine gestured toward a circular board that now hung on the wall, with alternating stripes of red and green going out from the center. The stripes were divided into three sections by silver lines, and a few feet away from the wall, there was a white line drawn on the floor; drawn in chalk by the looks of it. "The first event will be a knife-throwing contest!"

"Knife-throwing?" Kaguya looked a bit stumped, then her face lit up with an expression that practically sang songs about how she couldn't possibly lose a knife-throwing contest. "Throwing knives are my main weapon in Call of Duty! I can't lose to Mokou! But…who's the guest judge for this?"

"That," a fifth voice chimed in. "Would be me." Sakuya Izayoi walked through the doors of the school, holding a few knives between her fingers for good measure. "I've been told the rules of this little competition, and it's a bit as follows…" Sakuya threw one knife, and it almost instantly hit the direct center of the board. "Getting a bulls-eye is worth 100 points." Throwing the other knives in her hand at the board, they all landed right next to the first knife. "From there, each section outward is a 25-point penalty. Each of you will be throwing five knives. That means you _should_ score anywhere from 125 to 500 points. The black zone around the edges, however, is worth zero points. I trust Keine explained the universal rules?"

"Universal rules?"

"Oh, right." Keine pointed at Mokou, and said "_You_ aren't allowed to set Kaguya, or anything else for that matter, on fire. And as long as you're under my roof, I'm going to have to ask you to refrain from smoking."

Mokou just held the cigarette that was inches from her mouth, and frowned. "Fine." The phoenix-possessed girl put the cigarette back in her pocket, and asked "Then what about Kaguya?"

"Long story short, you two aren't allowed to attack each other."

"Alright," Kaguya said cheerfully, or at least as cheerfully as she could considering she was just told she was no longer allowed to attack her lifetime enemy. "Let's begin then."

* * *

><p>Kaguya was going to be throwing knives first. Next to the board, Mokou was leaning against the wall, just glaring at Kaguya who was taking her dear sweet time in lining up her shot. After plenty of time spent on lining up her first throw, Kaguya threw a knife with the aim of hitting the dead center of the board. <em>PLUNK!<em> The knife fell just short of actually hitting the wall the board was on, and now stuck in the floor.

That caused Mokou to burst into a fit of laughter. "Wa-ha-ha-ha! Is…is that really the best you can do? Then…ha-ha-ha…I guess I win!"

"Shut it, birdbrain. I'm not done yet." Kaguya took careful aim again, and this time planned on throwing the knife much harder. She wanted to throw one at Mokou, but that would probably not end well given the rules of this and the time-controlling maid who was acting as a guest judge. So, with all her might, Kaguya threw the second knife. _PLUNK!_ The second knife hit the black zone, barely avoiding tearing a hole in Keine's wall. "Ha! I hit the board!"

"A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha, I can't…A-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

"Quiet, Suspender Woman. I still have three knives left." Now her NEET brain was beginning to work in full gear, and one that stood near her could almost hear thousands of little machines working at full capacity, about to explode. Putting all her focus and concentration behind the last three knives, Kaguya threw them all back-to-back. _PLU-PLU-PLUNK!_ Just like Sakuya had demonstrated earlier, three knives were now resting in the dead center of the board. "Beat _that_, Mokou!"

"A-A…ah…I…"

"Three…_hundred…_points~ But you're a big badass, right? I'm _sure_ you can beat my score." Kaguya walked up to the knives, and tried to pull them out. They wouldn't budge. "Eh-heh-heh…just a second." Kaguya tried even harder, the strain now obvious in her face.

"Surely _you_ out of anybody can do physical work, damn NEET." _She's so weak…_

"Got them!" Kaguya practically flew off the wall with three knives in hand. The princess landed on the other side of the school, with a pile of boxes falling over on her. "Owwwwwww…"

* * *

><p>Mokou's turn. Kaguya was leaning against the wall next to the dartboard in the same manner as Mokou was; probably to mock her. "I'll show you how to throw knives, Kaguya!"<p>

"I'd like to see you try!"

"Just watch!" Mokou made her first throw without really thinking about it. _PLUNK!_

"Aah!" Kaguya nearly jumped out of her skin when the knife landed in the wall, right next to her head. "Watch it, you dumb bitch! You almost killed me!"

"So? You're immortal!" Mokou made her second throw. _PLUNK!_ "Alright. First one missed horribly and the second one landed in the 25-point zone. So far, I'm doing better than you, Kaguya."

"Don't get full of yourself," Kaguya said threateningly. "You still have to get all three of those knives into the 100-point zone or else I win."

"Right." Mokou focused hard, established her target. She focused on the very center of the target that was only a few feet away, helping herself improve her aim by visualizing the target being Kaguya's head. Using every mental technique she could think of, she did whatever possible to improve her aim. She'd be damned if she lost this first contest! _Right…there!_

Mokou threw her third knife as hard as she could. _SQUISH!_

Kaguya looked at where the knife had landed. One of her eyes were locked firmly onto the handle of the knife. The other…was pierced by said knife. It took Kaguya's mind a few seconds to process that her eye was really stabbed by a knife, but once it registered, the Lunarian princess was thrown into a frenzy.

Kaguya began running all around the place, screaming like a lunatic and trying to pull the knife out of her eye, which only caused the knife to hurt more, which led to more running, screaming, and more effort to pull the knife out. It was an infinite spiral of pain, screaming, and Eirin trying to pin Kaguya down so she could tranquilize the princess.

Mokou, however, found it hilarious. When Kaguya started running and screaming, Mokou couldn't hold back her laughter. Now that Eirin was trying to pin her down which only resulted in being hurled against the wall time and again by Kaguya, Mokou was rolling on the floor laughing, gripping her stomach in hysterics. She didn't care if she lost the knife-throwing game or even the entire competition; seeing this scene was far more than worth it to Mokou. She just kept rolling around and laughing at Kaguya's pain. Then Eirin fired an arrow at her knee. "Aah! Dammit!" Mokou reached to pull the arrow out, but that only made it hurt worse. "Aah! Keine, gimme a hand here!"

Keine quickly ran to Mokou's side, grabbing the arrow, and was about to pull it were it not for Mokou now screaming not to pull it out. This first event had gone horrifyingly wrong, and Sakuya seemed to have left during the pandemonium. Now Keine was beginning to wonder if it was really a good idea to trust Eirin on this idea of hers…

* * *

><p><strong>The next day…<strong>

Kaguya couldn't stand having these dumb bandages over her eye, but Eirin said that they had to remain on her face until the time arrived that her eye was fully healed. It irritated the princess to no end, mostly because it meant she now only had one eye with which she could see the computer screen in front of her. "Dammit," she said. "I can't even do heroics like this. The battlegrounds are all boring and regular raids are too easy, same for the arenas. If it weren't for that damned Mokou throwing a knife in my eye, I'd be tanking like no human could ever dream!" Kaguya logged out; World of Warcraft was a two-eye game, so Kaguya couldn't play it just yet. Instead, she'd play…Halo. _That_ had a radar in the lower-left corner so she could see her enemies before they sliced her in the ass with an energy sword.

* * *

><p>"Just kill me," Mokou said, very irritated. "If I've said it once, I've said it a million times. If I become a cripple, just kill me on the spot, Keine."<p>

"This is the price you've got to pay in order to make up for harming Kaguya like that. Don't worry, the next event should be _much_ less lethal." Keine smiled to her friend as she turned back to the boxes filled with assorted objects, trying to decide what the next event should be. Once she did, she would have to give Eirin the correct meeting spot.

* * *

><p><strong>Later that day…<strong>

"Do we have to go all the way there?" Kaguya didn't want to go as far as the Netherworld, but that was where the next event was going to be. Eirin didn't say what the event would be, and said that Mokou didn't know either. That was how they would all be; neither competitor knowing what they were going to do that night. "I don't like it there…"

"How can you say that if you've never been to the Netherworld?"

"Because I just can, okay?"

* * *

><p><strong>Do you know the next event? Remember, all the bosses in Ten Desires are also in the Netherworld (to my understanding) so there are eight possible guest judges. What kind of event do you think it will be? I'd like to hear your opinions on this little game of knife-throwing and your guesses as to the next challenge as well as who would win, and even ideas for future events!<strong>

**I will say that at some point, one of the guest judges is a very special extra boss from a specific game. Now you're dying to know what will follow someday, eh? Though, this special challenge won't be happening for quite some time, I need to see if Kaguya and Mokou can simmer down a bit before I even try this**


	3. Chapter 3: Chow Down!

**Rejoice, the third chapter is here! I've decided, if only to beef this fanfic up, that there will be a one-to-two chapter intermission after every third event. So there's this, the next one, and a short break. I bet you were wrapping your head around who could have been the guest judge, but now you can find out firsthand! Also, the fandom of a particular free-to-play shooting game that tends to blend with Touhou makes a cameo in here. At first, I just did it for the lulz, but then I noticed that, given the guest judge, it turned from a mere gag to hilarity. I think it could've been funnier, but every second I delay you is another second you're not reading this.**

* * *

><p>Reisen and Tewi were taking a break from the development of Kaguya's Wabbajack. Building such a ridiculous weapon was hard, even when one knew both science and magic. "So," Reisen said. "Who do you think will win that next event?"<p>

"Princess Kaguya has a lot of brainpower, but for all that brainpower…she's a damn dumbass. It doesn't matter how many games she's played, Kaguya doesn't stand a chance in this next event. I'm rooting for her all the way, but I really don't see how she can win."

"That's awfully blunt, especially considering that, Eirin aside, she's got the highest authority over us."

"So you think she'll win this contest?"

"…I'm not answering that."

"Uh-huh. That's what I thought. We'd better get back to building her Wabba-thingy; the sooner we're done with it the sooner I can take a break."

* * *

><p>"Ha! There's no way I can lose to somebody like Kaguya!" Mokou laughed proudly, and her laugh echoed across all of Hakugyokurou. Her pride was obvious, even with a cast over one of her legs and the phoenix-possessed girl only holding herself up with crutches. A cook-off was something Mokou knew for a fact she could win at. For starters, she ran a business that needed her to cook. Then there was the fact that Kaguya probably couldn't do a damn thing for herself, and the fact that, since this was real life, there was no way Kaguya would be able to use cheat codes. "I'll get right on it, Ms. Saigyouji!" And with that, Mokou was off!<p>

"A cook-off?" Kaguya looked like she was about to start sweating. _Crap! I don't know how to cook! And this is Yuyuko friggin' Saigyouji we're talking about here, if I'm not careful the main dish might end up being __**me**__ instead of my food!_ Kaguya could already tell this wasn't going to end well for her, so she slowly dragged herself toward the kitchen of Hakugyokurou. Whatever she was going to make, she needed to make enough to feed Keine, Eirin, and Yuyuko. What would she cook? It couldn't be anything too simple; surely that would cause even Eirin to vote against her. If it were too complex of a food, Kaguya would probably ruin it horribly. Her mind began running a list of every food she could think of. Then it struck her. A most wonderful idea that could turn the tables without even having to cook.

Keine could recognize the smell of Mokou's cooking. Sometimes Mokou would stay with the were-hakutaku, and those nights were always filled with dinners cooked by none other than Fujiwara no Mokou herself. The foods she could make went beyond some silly stall; the girl might as well have opened her own five-star restaurant in the Bamboo Forest of the Lost with how well she could cook. Keine didn't care who was rooting for who in this one, Mokou would win. End of story.

"So," Yuyuko asked. "I think we should get more acquainted. The two of you just came in asking about a cook-off. So…who are you two again?"

Eirin was dumbstruck by the question. Did Yuyuko forget? She was Eirin freaking Yagokoro! The mastermind behind that incident with the moon and the night that would never end! Had Yuyuko forgotten about her? How? Why? "I'm Eirin Yagokoro. I run the clinic at Eientei, and I'm the foremost doctor in Gensokyo."

* * *

><p>The kitchen in Hakugyokurou was in utter chaos. On one side, Kaguya was preparing something stupidly simple with bandages over one of her eyes but couldn't find the ingredients, and on the other side, Mokou was cooking some excellent meal while holding on to her crutches. Then there was the third person occupying the room; Youmu Konpaku, who'd been given the task of getting the ingredients the girls needed. Even by duplicating herself, Youmu could barely keep up with what the two were saying.<p>

"Youmu, I need vinegar."

"Youmu, I need some lettuce."

"Youmu, I need some soy sauce, fast!"

"Youmu, where's the bread?"

"Youmu-"

"Youmu-"

"Youmu-"

"Youmu-"

"SHUT UP!" Youmu and her clone were out of breath, but they were still running around like frenzied mice to get everything Mokou and Kaguya needed. "You told me what you were cooking, you told me the ingredients list! I brought you the ingredients, so _what more_ do you need?"

"…"

"I'm sorry, Youmu." Kaguya put a little toothpick through the first of her three dishes, and stuck an olive on the toothpick. "It's just hard for me to see with one eye…"

"And I have problems cooking when I need crutches to stand up," Mokou said. "If you want to blame somebody, please don't blame us, Youmu."

"Yeah," Kaguya said, almost sounding like she actually _agreed_ with Mokou. "Don't blame me. Blame Mokou."

"_**WHAT!**_"

"I said, _blame…Mokou_!" As Kaguya had been talking, she'd been putting together her other two dishes. Sure, they were all the same simple food, but it was indeed quite a dish once one ate the food. "If you hadn't thrown that knife in my _eye_, I'd be able to see everything I need!"

"If your little butt-buddy Eirin didn't shoot me in the knee, I would be able to cook just fine!"

"M-My…_BUTT-BUDDY_? How dare you! The odds of my doing anything like that with Eirin are even less than the chances your father had when he-"

Mokou shoved a knife through the table she'd been working at, and yelled "Don't bring my father into this! He was a great and noble man, and his breath was always taken away by your beauty! He searched for _years_ to find those Five damn Impossible Requests, and when you turned him down he was crushed! You have no right to bring him into this."

"Ooh, my. Did I hit a nerve there?"

"What nerve?"

"It's a lesson instead of a request! There are some things that people simply can't reach, like the moon. If mortals had everything they desired, where would _you_ be?"

"You're crazy! My father loved me unconditionally, and almost _never_ did anything wrong! The only thing he did wrong was ask for _your_ hand in marriage; your wicked ungrateful hand! If you weren't immortal, I'd kill you right here and now!"

"Um, Mokou…" Youmu pointed to the food cooking behind Mokou; it looked like it was either bordering on overcooked or already past that border. Smoke was starting to billow from the pots she'd been using, not steam, _smoke_, as though the thing were about to burst aflame. "I think your food is done."

"What? Oh, crap!" Mokou quickly moved the contents of the pots onto the three plates she'd been provided. She wanted to cook three different things just to vary up her cooking, but Keine had strictly told her she was only allowed to cook _one_ thing. So, she made something unique. The finished product looked somewhat like spaghetti with a _lot_ of sauce, but looks could easily be deceiving. "Fujiwara family recipe; it's been passed down since before I was born. My mother taught it to me. Kaguya, I can only imagine the culinary monstrosity _you've_ stirred up. Come on, let's see it."

"If you say so…BAM!" Kaguya stepped aside and smiled ear-to-ear at her three plates. They were just sandwiches. Not even a full sandwich, just _half_ a sandwich on each plate. "You may be a good cook, but no meal can hope to compare to a sandvich!"

"Sandvich?"

"Yes, sandvich."

"Wait…if there's three plates, and half a 'sandvich' on each, where's the fourth?"

"I ate it to make sure it tasted right. And believe me, it does. I don't care how good that meal of yours is, nothing can hope to beat a sandvich in a culinary competition!"

* * *

><p>It was time for the judges to decide. The secret Fujiwara recipe versus Kaguya's sandvich. "It all looks delicious," Yuyuko proclaimed happily. "Let's dig in!"<p>

"I'd love to," Keine said. She'd start with Mokou's plate. "Mmm!" When she swallowed, Keine asked cheerfully "Mokou, have you been holding back on me? You've made some great dishes, but this…it's like heaven itself!"

"I also enjoy it very much," Eirin said. "It's very…Yuyuko, where'd your food go?"

"I ate it," the ghost replied. "Isn't that what one should do when presented with food? That spaghetti-"

"Fujiwara family recipe," Mokou compulsively corrected.

"…Fujiwara family recipe, was simply amazing."

"Thank you, Ms. Saigyouji. I can only imagine how Kaguya's dish didn't compare to what I've presented."

"Oh, right. Kaguya, what was that dish called?"

Given Mokou's previous words, even if Kaguya didn't want to believe her, the Lunarian froze for a second. "It's…a sandvich."

"A sandvich? I love it!"

"…Really?"

"Yes! I wouldn't mind having one more sandvich, or a hundred, or even a million more sandviches! It's the best thing I've ever eaten! I feel like nothing can even touch me, I feel bulletproof!"

"I'm glad you like it," Kaguya said. Then she shot a smug and cocky glare at Mokou. "Some people horribly underestimate what a sandvich is capable of."

"Although," Eirin said. "Keine and I agreed that Mokou's dish is better. So, since two out of three judges like the Fujiwara recipe, Mokou wins this event, Princess Kaguya."

"No way! That's not fair!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Mokou started crutching her way back home, laughing at how Kaguya's vision of victory had been suddenly crushed. "Maybe you'll remember this when somebody gives _you_ five impossible requests, Kaguya! Some things are just beyond people's reach, aren't they?"

"You…" Kaguya's entire body was trembling in rage. "Eirin!"

"Yes, Princess?"

"What's the next event? I need to prepare myself to perform at a six-star level!"

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that, though I will say we've fought the guest judge before."

"Like_ that_ narrows it down! It could be Youmu, Sakuya's master, or like…four other people! Is it that shrine maiden? It is, isn't it? Dammit, Eirin!" Kaguya stormed off, whether it was to just go home or to maul Mokou on the way was anybody's guess; Eirin had to stick around to help clean up, as did Keine, since they'd promised Youmu such in exchange for her (very taxing) help in the kitchen.

"Is Reimu the guest judge," Youmu asked.

"I'll say this," Eirin answered. "It's not Reimu."

* * *

><p>As Kaguya stormed down the long staircase leading to Hakugyokurou, she went right past Mokou, ignoring her completely. How dare she snatch that victory like that!<p>

"Hey, Kaguya!"

"What do _you_ want?"

"That thing back there, with that sandvich…I'm impressed."

"…What?"

"I didn't think somebody like you, who does absolutely nothing for herself, could actually make something edible. Just take the damn compliment before I change my mind."

"…Okay…I think." Was Mokou trying to trick her? Trying to get Kaguya to let her guard down for the next event, whatever it was? Or was the compliment sincere? "…Thanks."

* * *

><p><strong>Clever, right? I thought it was funny, at least. I'm still accepting ideas for other events (there are currently ten events in all) so feel free to drop some ideas in your review, be they serious or silly. I'd also like to hear who you think the next guest judge is, since it's narrowed down to three people. I'd say if the selection narrows down more in the next chapter, but that may eliminate Yukari from the possible guest judges. Also, I see I've picked up the attention of Azure again. Glad to see you're on-board for another one of my fanfics; feel free to link this story to others so that this deserving fanfic gets more attention ^_~<strong>


	4. Chapter 4: Made in Her Image

**Huzzah, the fourth chapter! Remember, the next chapter or two will be a short intermission between events. Keep that in mind for the end of this chapter.**

* * *

><p>Kaguya's cursor was on the shortcut to start playing TF2, but she couldn't bring herself to click it. She would have played the Heavy, like she always did, but…she couldn't bring herself to play for some reason. Mokou's words from yesterday kept bouncing around inside her head.<p>

_"That thing back there, with that sandvich…I'm impressed."_

"Damn, it was a trap! A verbal Sakuretsu Armor!" Or was it mental warfare? The Sakuretsu part might have been. If she made her move, _POW!_ If she didn't, she'd just be sitting there in fear of some kind of trap. She kept considering the possibility that Mokou had no intents other than to actually give Kaguya a compliment, but this was _Mokou_. This wasn't Reisen or Tewi who had to serve her, it was her infernal rival that let herself get possessed by a phoenix just to have more power to kill Kaguya with! It had to be a trick of some sort! Then there was a knocking at her door. "Is that you, Eirin?"

"Yes, Princess Kaguya. It's time to head out for the next event."

"Good. Mind if we walk? I need to clear my head some." Sure, the Forest of Magic would be a bit of a walk from Eientei, but walking helped clear Kaguya's mind. Sometimes, if she'd been given a tricky situation, one would see her pacing all around her room just because she would be walking. Not only that, she wanted to see the skies with her fully healed eyes.

* * *

><p>"Alright, we're here."<p>

"This is the place, Keine?" Mokou looked at the small house standing in front of her. It was a white house, with a blue roof. On the left side of the house, there was what looked like a little tower, with a few windows here and there along the entire house. There was also a small chimney on the right side of the house. "This is where the third event is?" At least she'd be competing on two legs again.

"Yep. This is where Alice Margatroid lives; you may remember her." Keine sure remembered her. Her and that other witch, Marisa, ran into Keine a couple of times in the past, and there had been one occasion where they fought Mokou as well.

"Oh, yes, I remember. That dollmaker, right?"

"That's the one."

"So, it's safe to assume that the event is-"

"Dollmaking," Eirin said. "How's the leg?"

"Still healing. I see that Kaguya's eye is still healing as well." Just thinking about that event with the throwing knives made Mokou laugh a bit; just envisioning how Kaguya was running around with Eirin trying to get her to stop. Priceless.

"Still healing," Kaguya said. "Thanks to _you_. How does somebody become so formidable in a danmaku battle with aim as horrible as yours?"

"Enough arguing," Keine and Eirin said in unison. They had to go see Alice and start this dollmaking competition. This wasn't something either of them had done before, so rather than the usual nightly competitions, this was happening early in the day so that they both had plenty of time to figure out how to actually make a doll. Sure, it was a dumb competition, but it was still a competition, so it would hopefully serve its purpose.

"Shall we go?"

"By all means."

* * *

><p>Alice had spent a good hour explaining how to make a doll. Not one stuffed with gunpowder, mind, a <em>regular<em> doll. And to further assist, Alice had assigned one doll each to both Mokou and Kaguya to help make their vision a reality. This would be one of the more difficult events. Eirin had also said it was pointless. Eirin was escorted off the premises by several armed dolls. "Alright," the dollmaker said. "You may begin. You both have six hours to make one doll each. When you're both done, I'll send some dolls to bring Eirin back and the three of us will decide whose doll is better."

"I'm on it," Kaguya said without skipping a beat. Then she, followed by the dolls assigned to assist her, made her way to one workbench Alice had set up.

"I'm almost afraid to imagine the monstrosity Kaguya will create," Mokou said. Then, followed by the other dolls, Mokou walked over to the other workbench.

"Best of luck to both of you," Alice said. For now, she would probably make some more dolls. No telling if she would need extra security here with Kaguya and Mokou under the same roof, but her gut said a loud and resounding yes. If things went how she was imagining them, she'd need at least a hundred dolls and Marisa all on security here. Shame that Marisa was doing other things at the moment…_that idiot._

* * *

><p>Keine had decided to leave the building while Kaguya and Mokou worked. She'd go find Eirin. By the time she'd actually dedicated herself to the search, Keine had already found Gensokyo's leading doctor. "Ah, there you are, Eirin."<p>

"Hello there, Keine. Did you see what Kaguya and Mokou were working on?"

"They're making dolls."

"I already know that. Did you see _what kind of dolls_ they were making?"

"No. Why, are you concerned?"

"Not in the least. I'm just curious is all. Depending on what they make, it could be a sign that things are working out like this decathlon should make them work out."

"You mean with tensions settling down between Kaguya and Mokou?"

"Yes. That's exactly what I mean."

* * *

><p>"Hey, doll, I need some white yarn."<p>

"Doll, where's the pink thread?"

"I can't find the red buttons."

"Do you have black yarn?"

"I also need red thread."

"Get some red thread."

Alice kept an ear open to the continuous demands of Kaguya and Mokou downstairs. It sounded like the two were really keeping themselves busy. Alice didn't know what they were making; one specific rule for this event and dollmaking in general (for Alice, at least) was that you didn't look over at what somebody else was making. Alice herself had a very large collection of dolls aside from the usual blonde-haired maid-resembling dolls. She also had dolls of many of the residents of Gensokyo. Currently, she was working on a doll of Suwako Moriya, but couldn't get the hat just right for the doll's head. _Damn her hat. I used up the last of my googly eyes just yesterday to make…whatever the hell that thing in the corner is._ Looking back, Alice didn't know why she made that thing. It just looked like a giant mass of purple yarn with about a hundred googly eyes stuck onto it. Or…was it Marisa who had made it? She was here yesterday, and Alice had been uncharacteristically drunk that day. Maybe it _was_ Marisa's…

At the same time, the voices of both Kaguya and Mokou echoed across Alice's house, shouting "It's finished!"

* * *

><p>Eirin and Keine were back on the grounds of Alice's house, and Kaguya and Mokou both held a doll behind their backs. "Alright," Alice said. "Kaguya, yours first."<p>

"Hang on," Mokou said in protest. "Why does she get to go first?"

"Because I'm the guest judge, so what I say goes."

"But she caused that moon incident!"

"…Fair enough. Mokou, you first."

"Ha! Feast your eyes on this!" Mokou's arm swung around her body, and in her hand was a doll that looked just like her. A mini-Mokou doll that looked flawlessly put together. Of course, she _did_ get help from Alice's dolls. "It's me!"

"Interesting…Kaguya, what is your doll?"

Kaguya laughed a bit in the feeling of inevitable victory. "Mokou's doll is nothing compared to what I have in stock! Ladies and Mokou-"

"**Watch it, princess!**"

"I give you the winning doll!" Kaguya's arm slid around her body to reveal a small doll with long black hair. It was a doll of Kaguya! "It's me!"

Mokou jumped back, making a noise that could be likened to screaming for somebody who wasn't used to screaming. "It's like a cheesy horror film!"

"Careful, Mokou. Talk trash about my doll again and her pretty little porcelain head is getting rammed straight up your ass." Kaguya held her doll lovingly, and said "The dolls and I worked hard on Mini-Kaguya. You can give me the winning point now."

"My vote's for Kaguya," Eirin said.

"But I'm voting for Mokou," Keine said.

"Then it all falls to Alice. Alice, what are you doing?"

Alice was holding each doll in a hand. Her thumbs were sliding over the clothes and through the hair of both dolls, feeling everything about the doll.

"Are you raping the dolls?"

"W-What? Why would…how…no! I'm checking the quality!" They were both very well-made. Flawless, even. The only thing different about the two was that they looked different. Same softness of skin and clothing, same texture in hair, everything…

"It's a draw," Alice declared. "Both dolls are of flawless quality, and choosing a winner based on appearance would be unfair. There is no winner for this event." Alice handed the competitors their dolls back, not minding the angry glares she was receiving. "Go on now, do your thing. Run along, shoo."

* * *

><p><strong>Late that night…<strong>

"Yes, who is…" Nobody there. Was somebody playing ding-dong ditch? Reisen didn't really appreciate that; she had enough of a hard time just keeping up with everybody's work in Eientei, she had no time to deal with pranksters on top of it. Then she looked down. Yep, her second guess was dead-on. Mail. Only…there was no postal service in Gensokyo. Whoever mailed this must have personally done it. Reisen picked up the box, observing the white and red wrapping. Then she saw the tag hanging from the side. For Kaguya…

"Ha-ha-ha! No lock can beat a Subtlety Rogue! Dumb bastard's trying to-" _KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. _"Just a second!" Kaguya delivered a quick finishing blow to the idiotic Warlock who'd challenged her to a duel, and ran over to open her door. "Oh, hey Reisen. What's bugging you?"

"You have mail."

"For me? 'Kay thanks bye." Kaguya grabbed the box and closed the door, turning back to her computer. It was rare she actually got physical mail from anybody. On the moon, people used to shower her with gifts, but she wasn't on the moon anymore. So, curious, she opened the box and nearly dropped it in surprise. She then proceeded to hide the box under her bed where nobody would find it, right next to all her volumes of the Code Geass manga. Nobody dared put a finger near her Code Geass. Then she grabbed a small box of her own and put something inside.

Then, box hidden in the sleeves of her kimono out the door she ran! She passed by Reisen, ignored her, then happened across Eirin. "Oh hey, Eirin. I'm going out for a walk."

"Very well, Princess. Mind that you don't get hurt."

"Sure, sure, no problem. Alright, bye!" Out the front door she ran!

* * *

><p><strong>The next morning…<strong>

"Hey, Keine, where'd this come from?"

"Hm?" The were-hakutaku had let Mokou stay with her for a while. There were certainly benefits, especially the food.

Mokou held out the object she was referring to. "That Kaguya doll showed up on your doorstep last night. Somebody just left it there in a box." Mokou had an idea who it was…

* * *

><p><strong>DISCLAIMER: I do not watch Code Geass, nor have I read the manga. I just know that it's a highly popular anime, so I figured it'd be best to put volumes of that under Kaguya's bed rather than the doujins that Azure commissions or some mainstream manga like Bleach or Naruto.<strong>

**Anyway, on to more frivolous topics. I think I should've put volumes of Hellsing down there now that I think about it, but that probably would've given our helpless princess nightmares, and I don't think there are enough volumes of Hellsing to hide the box. Good to know that things are beginning to turn around for Kaguya and Mokou who are probably becoming hopelessly tsundere for each other at this point. If so, this is going to turn into one beautiful fanfic.**

**Be sure to leave ideas for other competitions; I'd love to see what you have in mind and maybe even include it in this fanfic**


	5. Chapter 5: Mountain of Generosity

**I had some serious problems writing this one. Writer's block, run-of-the-mill laziness, trouble deciding on a guest judge, and at one point half the chapter just up and vanished off my computer never to be seen again. I got it done, though. There's a very dark sense of humor in this chapter, and let's see who can guess the youkai that appears in the middle.**

**I'll give you a hint; she appeared in another fanfic of mine that starred a certain gatekeeper.**

* * *

><p>Kaguya couldn't let it go. Even while sitting at her computer, the Mokou doll she'd received last night sat in her lap, its red button eyes looking at the computer screen alongside Kaguya's own. It sort of reminded her of the sack people from Little Big Planet when she looked at it, especially the button eyes. Kaguya's own doll also had that sort of feel to it, but it wasn't like Mokou would know that or anything. Today was one day where the two competitors weren't participating in an event. Eirin and Keine had agreed to let the two take a break after every third event for one day, and there were going to be a total of four breaks. After that final break would be one last event, and while neither Kaguya nor Mokou knew what it was, both were told that it was easily the most dangerous event either of them would take part in. It wasn't something Kaguya thought about; she was occupied with thoughts about the little doll sitting in her lap.<p>

Why had Mokou given her this doll? And why was Kaguya compelled to give Mokou her own doll in return? To the Lunarian's memory, she hated Mokou! Was it some kind of trick? Or were things really starting to change? She should have seen it when Mokou said she was impressed by Kaguya's sandvich. Things were certainly changing. But were they only changing for Kaguya, or was Mokou also noticing the change?

* * *

><p>"Are you alright, Mokou?"<p>

"Huh? Oh…I'm fine. Why?"

"You've been silent all day long," Keine said. "You didn't even hear me when I asked if you wanted me to make breakfast during your break day. I made a Western-style breakfast." Nudging the plate of waffles toward Mokou a bit, she said "They're probably cold by now, though. I made them almost an hour ago and you didn't even touch them. I'm no shrink, but you're not usually this quiet, and you _never_ pass up on a meal. So 'fess up, what's happening?"

"Nothing's wrong. Nothing at all, Keine."

"Then why has that little porcelain replica of your sworn enemy been in your hands all day long?"

Mokou's entire face went red at that. "Nothing's happening," she said more insistently, nearly yelling. "I'll take my breakfast to go today." With that, Mokou grabbed the waffles off the plate with one hand, put them in her mouth, and with the Kaguya doll in her other hand, bolted out the door with a face as red as a beet.

"I see," Keine said to herself as Mokou made off. "Oh, Eirin, you are a genius. I wonder if she saw this coming? If so, I can only wonder what kinds of interesting turns will be made by the end of this competition. Regardless, I should go see the next guest judge." Youkai Mountain wasn't especially fun to climb, even less so when one had the tengu targeting them just for being on the mountain.

* * *

><p><strong>About five in the afternoon…<strong>

"The rules are simple," Sanae explained. "Accompanying you two on this event will be your 'representative' judge. Whoever commits the greatest act of generosity within the next two hours is the winner of the event."

"That's it," Mokou asked.

"Yep. That's all there is to it. The clock is ticking, so get going." Generosity was one of the greatest ways to gain faith. As such, the three goddesses living at the Moriya Shrine always made an effort to be generous to others. That made Sanae a natural choice for the guest judge, as Kanako was far too busy, and Suwako was…well, Suwako. Of course, it also helped that the Moriya Shrine would be getting a nice paycheck once the event was finished.

"Right." Off Mokou flew! It had seemed that Kaguya was already gone. Knowing her, Mokou could only imagine what Kaguya was doing right now…

* * *

><p>"Free medical treatments," Kaguya shouted at the top of her lungs to any ears willing to listen to her. "Get your free medical treatments here! Free for two hours, get your free medical treatments!"<p>

"Princess Kaguya," Eirin asked. "Are you sure this will work?"

"Of course!" The Lunarian princess happily spun around to face Eirin, and said "There was that nasty plague that was spreading in Gensokyo, the one that ended about a week ago. A lot of people who didn't come to the clinic were youkai who couldn't afford medical treatment, so if any of them still have the plague, they can come here and get all better for absolutely no charge!"

"If any of them still had the plague," Eirin flatly said, "I think they would be dead by now."

"Just have some faith in my idea." Back to shouting out at the top of her lungs. Taking in a deep breath, Kaguya let out quite possibly the loudest three words aside from the annual "Spring is here" from a particular fairy. "Free medical treatments!" Taking in another deep breath, Kaguya unleashed another string of ridiculously loud words. "Rabies, flu, leprosy, black death, actual death, we treat everything!"

"I don't think we can bring back the dead, Kaguya. Please don't make claims we can't stand on; it looks very bad for us and the entire Eientei clinic."

"Miracle cures, free of charge!"

* * *

><p>Mokou was flying in circles now. She couldn't think of anything generous to do. "Keine, do you have any ideas?"<p>

"I'm not allowed to give you suggestions," Keine said. "Otherwise, you know I would. Just think about the people you want to help, and how you want to help them without being rewarded. Even some of the simplest things we do every day can be considered generous."

"That doesn't help much. I can think of so many ways to help others, but I don't have the finances to do any of it. This whole generosity thing doesn't seem to work so well for me."

* * *

><p>"See," Kaguya said. "I told you it'd work!"<p>

"I…can't actually believe it worked."

"What was that?"

"I-I mean…I knew it would work! Well done, Princess Kaguya!"

"That's more like it." Now for the patient. It was a youkai girl. It seemed like at one point, she was possibly even as beautiful as Kaguya herself with long green hair and radiant yellow eyes, but disease was horribly disfiguring that. All over the youkai's body, sickly black patches covered her skin, and she was as pale as a ghost. She looked like she'd been reduced to nothing but skin and bones, and one of her eyeballs had literally rotted out. "Ergh…I'm sorry, how can we help you?"

The youkai looked like she hadn't heard Kaguya for a second, then she began stammering out one word. "M-M…Med…Medicine."

"You need medicine? Eirin, go make some medicine for…whatever the hell this girl's got! No time to waste, go go go!"

"N-No…get me…-cough cough hack- Medicine."

"Don't worry, we'll have you medicated in no time."

The youkai stood up for a brief moment, but only to grip her stomach in pain as what looked like the contents of everything she'd eaten today spilt out of her mouth and onto the ground next to Kaguya's stand. "M-Melancholy…Medicine Melancholy."

"Are you depressed? Eirin, get some antidepressants."

"Dumb…-cough cough- bitch."

"What?"

"A doll…Medicine Melancholy, she…-hack- she… -vomit- poisoned me."

"Oh! Eirin, go get an antidote!"

"I don't even know what kind of poison it is," Eirin said.

"Then make a cure-all antidote!"

"Right away, Princess Kaguya." And with that, Eirin ran off to a relatively close Eientei to create that cure-all antidote the youkai needed. At the very least, Eirin had been proven right; there weren't any more victims of the recent Gensokyo Plague…at least, none that were still alive. That was a nightmarish time in the clinic, and probably all over Gensokyo as well.

"Alright," Kaguya said, "Eirin is making your antidote. Just…stay alive, alright?"

"Y-You…" The youkai tried uttering out more words, but she found she couldn't speak. Feeling at her throat where her voice box would be, just to make sure it was still there, the youkai felt around a bit. Then her remaining eye widened in panic. Not there! At least, she couldn't feel it if it was there…and now she couldn't feel her fingers! She wanted to tell the girl to get her doctor friend to hurry the hell up, but she couldn't do that without a voice!

"Me? What about me?"

* * *

><p>"I'm still out of ideas. Maybe I should just forfeit?"<p>

"If you think it's best, Mokou. I can't act as an advisor; only as an assistant and a judge. If you think it best to quit, I won't stop you."

"Alright. Let's head back to Youkai Mountain then." So with that, Mokou began leading the way back to the Moriya Shrine to give out her surrender.

* * *

><p>"Ah…<strong>Eirin!<strong>" Kaguya couldn't avert her eyes; she couldn't even get herself to move. The youkai in front of her was dead, and it was a far from pretty sight. Bloody foam coming out of the mouth, choking noises, and there was also one final violent fit of vomiting before the youkai kicked the bucket.

"Yes, Princess Kaguya? I brought the…"

"What do I do?"

"We should tell Sanae."

"…No. We have to…dispose of the evidence."

"We didn't do anything illegal."

"Oh. In that case, let's tell Sanae what happened." Kaguya wanted to get out of there and as far away from that corpse as possible, and her rocket-like speed showed that well.

* * *

><p>"So you quit?"<p>

"Yeah."

"Sanae!" Kaguya hit the ground near the shrine like a lightning bolt, and even brought a similar crashing noise. "She's dead, she died and I couldn't stop her! I can't compete in this event any longer!"

Sanae placed a finger over Kaguya's lips, and said "_Slowly_, Kaguya, explain what happened."

"Okay…" Taking a deep breath, Kaguya started a brief summary of her story. "I opened a stand for free medical treatment, and this youkai came to us looking all sick. She told us she needed medicine, so I told Eirin to make some, then she told me that a doll named Medicine Melancholy poisoned her. I sent Eirin to make an antidote, and then she just…"

"Oh dear. But, you can't forfeit."

"Why not?"

"Mokou already did. That makes you winner. If not for generosity, you deserve it for your bravery."

"Bravery?"

"Bravery," Mokou asked.

* * *

><p><strong>Early next morning…<strong>

Kaguya didn't sleep at all. For once, it wasn't a gaming marathon, but instead the horror from seeing that youkai girl die. People came back after they died, right? _Yeah…I'm pretty sure they do. Just talk to a spirit healer; it's worth the durability penalty and the rez sickness._ No, dammit! _This isn't a game! She died! What should I do?_ She wanted to go back to sleep so that she was ready for today's event, but Kaguya couldn't find it in her to go to sleep right now. Perhaps playing some games would help distract her troubled mind.

* * *

><p><strong>For the reference, the events of this fanfic do not coincide with those of any other fanfic. However, that Gensokyo Plague mentioned earlier might get a fanfic of its own, or it might appear in the Sanae fanfic I have going right now. Oh, right, this isn't linked to that either.<strong>

**And a last-second note; and you know how I hate spoilers (continue at risk of spoilers) but I completely forgot that the next guest judge happens to be Medicine Melancholy. Looks like Koishi is trying to pull some subconcious projection shit on me now. Well, feel free to throw out guesses as to the competition; it's a very unlikely event.**


	6. Chapter 6: Breath and Lack Thereof

**I apologize for the delay in this chapter. I assure you, the wait was well worth it, and now I'm back on writing this. Remember back in the beginning when I said there were going to be 10 events? I have a final list of events here, and the two lovable enemies will be competing in a total of 13 different events. Also, for those who haven't been keeping score (I recommend you do) lemme just go over the current score.**

**Kaguya has 2 wins. Mokou has 0 wins. There are 2 draws.**

**Things aren't looking good for Mokou. From here on in, there will be a winner for every event, so be sure to let me know who you're rooting for in each event! I love to hear input on the competition side of this fanfic as well as the story part of it.**

* * *

><p>"Ow, put me down!"<p>

"You've got some explaining to do," Eirin said coldly.

* * *

><p>Kaguya dragged herself out of her bedroom. It was rare for the NEET princess to pull an all-nighter, and on the rare occasions where she did, it showed. The girl could barely stand straight and her entire body looked about ready to just fall over and pass out; a look supported by deep bags under her eyes. The only reason she was awake now was because the sun was up; something that, for some reason, always prevented Kaguya from sleeping. Had it not been for that alone, Kaguya would surely be asleep right now. "Eirin? Are you around?"<p>

The words bounced off the near-empty halls of Eientei, and got into the ears of Reisen Inaba. There was a long break in the development of Kaguya's Wabbajack, and most of the rabbits were actually considering dropping the project altogether, Reisen included. "Oh, good morning Princess Kaguya."

"Hi, Reisen. Is…-yawn- is Eirin around?"

"I'm afraid not. She left very early on some business about this competition you and Mokou have been competing in. She also figured you wouldn't get much sleep, and judging by the looks of you…I'd say she was kind of right."

"Yeah…-yawn- I was awake all night. Do we have any coffee or something?"

"Sadly, no. But Eirin does have something she wanted me to give you."

"Really?"

"Here." Reisen held out her hand, and opened it, revealing a small white pill. "Twelve hours worth of bursting energy in one tiny pill. Eirin made it for days like this, where you're not exactly at your best. I'm practically running on these things nowadays, with everybody handing their work over to me."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

* * *

><p>"I wonder if Kaguya's feeling better since yesterday?"<p>

"Oh, Mokou, are you _worried_ for her?"

"Nothing of the sort, Keine! I just don't to steal the victory for today's event _too_ easily. Speaking of, what is today's event?"  
>"I'll let the guest judge talk about it. Although, Eirin and I talked last night, and it sounds like the guest is in some trouble. If I'm remembering right, she killed somebody."<p>

"We're being judged by a killer?"

"Oh, you'll be judged by much worse things by the end of this competition. And I feel I must remind you again that my house has a strict _no smoking_ rule, Mokou!"

"Oh, sorry." Mokou opened the front door and stepped outside, saying "I usually forget that kind of stuff. Anyway, on to another topic…"

* * *

><p>"Okay, I'm sorry, Eirin! I didn't think she'd end up anywhere near you two, I swear!"<p>

"_Don't_ let this happen again."

"Y-Y…Yes, ma'am."

* * *

><p><strong>Some hours later…<strong>

"Alright," Medicine Melancholy said, bandages and casts covering roughly half of her body. "Here's the rules. This will be a competition to see who can hold their breath the longest."

"Smoker's cough," Kaguya shouted. "I win!"

"May I continue?"

"Oh, sorry. Go ahead."

"Thank you. To be certain that there's no cheating in this, when the competition starts, I'll release a poisonous gas. Whoever breathes it in will die, but since you two are immortal, it will probably just knock you out."

"_Probably_? I saw somebody _die_ yesterday, and they mentioned _your_ name! I don't want to compete."

"So I win," Mokou asked. "Thanks for the free win, Kaguya."

"Wait, I take it back! I want to compete, if only to outlast Mokou in a breath-holding contest. But get this, Medicine, if I die from that poison then I'm going to murder you."

"Really?" Mokou wanted to hit Kaguya right now from sheer stupidity. What she was saying made absolutely no sense! "You'll be dead, moron!"

"Quiet!"

* * *

><p>"Ready?"<p>

Kaguya and Mokou both took the deepest breaths either one could possibly take, then nodded to Medicine to begin the competition. Each one was certain they would win, but both also had doubts about how secure their victory was, not to mention that Kaguya and Mokou each were a bit unnerved about how this competition worked.

"Begin!" Medicine stood true to her word; before long, the Lunarian princess and the phoenix-possessed girl were both surrounded with a poisonous cloud of purple gas. If either of them inhaled even a bit of this gas, everybody would know about it. Then, taking a step back, Medicine made sure the poison wouldn't reach Keine and Eirin.

"Nice job," Eirin said. "How long do you think they'll last?"

"I'd give it…"

_COUGH! COUGH, COUGH!_

"Now. I can't believe one of them already lost."

_COUGH! HACK, COUGH!_

"I wonder which one that is? Any ideas?"

_COUGH!_

"Oh fine, I'll get her out!" Medicine walked back into the poison gas cloud, following her ears to the source of the coughing. Whoever it was sounded like they were about to start coughing up some vitals, and while Medicine loved watching people die by poison, she wasn't willing to pay in body parts to watch one of these two suffer. Finally, Medicine found the one that lost, and turned her head to the other girl. "Hey, you can step out of the cloud now; you've won." Dragging the near-unconscious loser out of the cloud, Medicine was able to make out details. White hair, red eyes, red and white clothes. This was Mokou, right?

Gasping deeply for fresh air, Mokou let out a few more gut-wrenching coughs as soon as her head was out of the gas cloud. "S-S…Shit! I l-lost!" One of Mokou's arms shakily reached into her pocket, and pulled out a cigarette.

"No," Keine quickly said. "Don't you dare smoke that thing, Mokou. _That_ is why you lost the competition! Smoker's cough, just like Kaguya said."

"G-Goddammit…" Mokou couldn't believe it! She'd lost to Kaguya in a breath-holding contest! She couldn't believe that somebody as weak as Kaguya could actually hold her breath as all, let alone hold her breath longer than Mokou. But the worst part of it was that Mokou lost to the very prediction Kaguya had made just moments ago. This was by far the shortest competition, and Mokou's most humiliating loss. She would have to step up her game in the next competition; if she was keeping score correctly, Mokou hadn't won a single event yet!

The knife-throwing was a draw because of the pandemonium that broke loose; Mokou felt lucky that Kaguya hadn't been handed the victory because of that. The cook-off was stolen from right under Mokou's nose by that sandvich, and then there were still more events that Mokou didn't win at! The dollmaking contest was declared as a draw, and Mokou had chosen to forfeit in yesterday's comparison of generosity. Then there was today's breath-holding competition, which Mokou lost. Kaguya had three wins, and Mokou had zero. That _had_ to change!

* * *

><p><strong>That night…<strong>

Mokou was still coughing from the poisons she'd breathed in earlier. Keine had forced an otherwise helpless Mokou to give up all her cigarettes, lie down in bed, and recover. No matter; she'd be up and running again as good as ever tomorrow.

And sitting next to that bed, of course, was Keine. "I tried to persuade her against it at first," the were-hakutaku apologetically said. "I didn't want her to use the poisons, but both Eirin and Medicine decided that they were needed. I'm really, _really_ sorry that you wound up in this kind of shape."

"Don't…-cough cough- don't be. The risk that I took was -cough- more than enough for a chance to see Kaguya fall to her knees and pass out."

"Why you hate that girl so much is beyond me. Just _how_ did all this start, anyway?"

"It was a long time ago, back in the human world. My father had -cough- met Kaguya and fell deeply in love with her, so he asked for her -cough- hand in marriage."

"She said no?"

"Close. She gave him -cough- five 'impossible' requests. He had to go out and find certain -cough cough- treasures, but he couldn't find any of them, no matter how hard he searched. She turned him down, and ran off."

"So why the hate?"

"I learned some time later that _she_ had all five treasures the whole time. The little -cough cough- ingrate just wanted to mock him, so I swore on that day that -cough- that I'd -cough cough- I'd -_COUGH-_ I swore-"

"Stop. You're getting way too worked up. Just calm down."

"How can I?"

"Don't think about Kaguya?"

"Fine."

* * *

><p>"I wonder if she's alive?" Kaguya stared down her dinner. Why wasn't she hungry?<p>

"Kaguya," Eirin said. "_Eat_. Reisen worked hard on that; she doesn't usually have to cook dinner, so enjoy the spaghetti."

"But I was just thinking, is Mokou still alive? What if she died?"

"Oh? Are you worried for her?"

"What? N-NO! Not at all! I just don't want to stop humiliating her in this competition! How dare you mock me like that, to think I'd fall for somebody like her!"

"Then what's that in your corner?" From where Eirin stood in the doorway, her finger pointed to the corner of the bedroom, to a little porcelain replica of Mokou, on its own shelf right above most of her video games. "Didn't you always say you were looking for something special for that shelf?"

"Get out of my room, Eirin!" Running up to her door, Kaguya quickly pulled her door shut with a face redder than a beet. "Just stay out! Stop making fun of me and go away!"

* * *

><p><strong>Kaguya - 3. Mokou - 0. Ouch. With that kind of score, I would say Kaguya has this in the bag if I wasn't the writer. While this fanfic does take its own path, I still have all the events listed somewhere on my computer, as well as the winners to each event. I like to say that the first 12 events are split into three-event "blocks" and I was originally going to have a one-chapter break between blocks. Didn't go that way; no breaks until this competition ends once and for all. As much as I hate spoilers, I've gotta say that Kaguya's winning streak is about to come to a stunning end<strong>


	7. Chapter 7: Metal Gear Kappa

**First off, I'd like to apologize for my mistaking on the score. I'd assumed Kaguya won the cook-off because I was rooting for her (hahaha) so the score (as of the end of the last chapter) is as follows in reality…**

**Kaguya: 2 points. Mokou: 1 point. 2 draws.**

**Sorry about that. Anyway, next thing's next. I'd like to thank Azure Xuchilbara for giving me the idea to this event, and I'll extend that thanks again in…oh, 4-6 chapters. I think we might actually get some filler after this. Sad filler, but filler. I hate filler, but the story writes itself once I get past the fifth chapter.**

* * *

><p>The sun rose in Gensokyo, and with it, a girl possessed by a phoenix. Today would be another competition against Kaguya, so Mokou wanted to get up bright and early to claim the win and turn the tables against the Lunarian. She had to. If Kaguya kept winning like she was, Mokou wouldn't stand a chance. Whatever today's event was, Mokou had to win it…<p>

"Oh, I see you're awake," Keine said. "Good. Today's event is starting early."

"Really? Why?"

"It's a bit more difficult than other events."

* * *

><p>Kaguya was a bit wary of the thick forest surrounding her; the forest surrounding Youkai Mountain. Not only was it far from her usual surroundings, but last time she was anywhere near here, the competition had lead to her seeing somebody die in a very unpleasant manner. "I don't like it here. Even though it's daytime, it's very dark out."<p>

"Then it's a good thing we're not competing in this forest. We're almost to Youkai Mountain now."

"But I don't want to go there, either. Remember what happened last time we went there? With that youkai? The one who _died_?"

"That was a major accident on Medicine's part," Eirin reassured. "I promise that such a thing will not happen again. Just to be certain, I'm carrying various cure-all antidotes and other miracle cures on me in the event of such a thing."

"Can they cure lung cancer?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason. Just curious is all."

* * *

><p>Near the base of Youkai Mountain, the two competitors and the three judges stood, facing the forest that Kaguya and Eirin had just made their way through. "Glad to see y'all made it," Nitori said. "Truth be told, I didn't want in on this at first, but it presents an opportunity both timely and beneficial. Here's the rules." Slipping on a long coat that at first looked perfectly black, Nitori said "I've built a new-and-improved optical camo; the first one didn't seem to work so well. I'm gonna run into that forest there, and y'all two are gonna try an' find me. Got all that?"<p>

"Wait," Kaguya said. "High-tech espionage-type technology, and we're trying to see through it? Wow…this is going to be a lot of fun! Anything else we need to know?"

"Oh, yeah. There are some nasty little critters in that forest. Generally, if you don't bug them they'll just mind their own business, but some of them…not so friendly. In the event that you two happen across one of these…" Nitori handed the two feuding soon-to-become seekers a radio each, and said "Eirin and Keine have one each as well. All of them are on a radio frequency that I've tested, and is not being used by any other transmission devices. It was far from easy, but it'll make the competition that much easier. I have one, too, but mine will only pick up on Keine's and Eirin's. Right, good luck." And with that, Nitori pressed a button on her coat and seemingly turned near-invisible on the spot. If one looked closely, they'd still the outline of her shape, but that was about it, and it was very hard to focus on when she kept moving toward the forest. This would be a great test run.

"Let's do this thing!" Off Kaguya ran! Off to find Nitori before Mokou had the chance! Short of the cook-off, Kaguya was on an undefeated winning streak, and the Lunarian princess had every intention of making sure it stayed that way. No way was she going to let Mokou even have a chance at grabbing a second victory!

* * *

><p><strong>About an hour into the competition…<strong>

Kaguya's head kept turning in different directions, partially because she had to find Nitori, and partially because Nitori had said there were some not-so-friendly creatures in here. What kind of creatures, she didn't specify, but Kaguya wasn't much of a fighter. Whatever it was, if it resided in a dark forest and wasn't friendly, odds were that Kaguya didn't want to mess with it. Surely, they were fearsome creatures that could even give Mokou a run for her money!

_Meow…_

"Huh?" Looking around, Kaguya's eyes stopped searching when she found the source of the noise. It was just a cat. A kitten, even. A little kitten with mostly white hair, and orange stripes across its back. Grabbing her radio, Kaguya pressed the button, and said "Hey, Eirin, you won't believe what I just found."

"There's no way you already found Nitori, so don't lie to me."

"No, not that! I found a kitten, and she's just the most adorable thing in the world!"

"Really? What does she look like?"

"She's mostly white, and she's got some orange stripes across her back. Can we keep her, Eirin? Please?"

"Let me get back to you on that." Pressing the other button on her radio; the one to reach Nitori; Eirin asked a simple enough question. "Nitori, what do you know about a white cat with orange stripes on its back?"

_"Oh, don't bother those! They're cute and stuff, but they're aggressive as can be if you bug them, and they've got one nasty bite._

"I see." Quickly switching back to Kaguya, Eirin nearly yelled "Princess Kaguya, don't touch that-"

"AAAH! MY HAND! SHE BIT MY HAND!" Furiously shaking her hand in just about every direction humanly possible (and a few that weren't humanly possible) to try and shake off the kitten, it's jaws only locked on Kaguya's hand tighter which made the bite hurt more, resulting in more arm-flailing and thus a tighter bite. "HOLY CRAP! THIS THING HURTS! EIRIN, SHOOT IT!"

"I'm nowhere near-"

"SHOOT IT!"

"But-"

"LESS TALKING, MORE SHOOTING! AAH, I THINK I'M BLEEDING!"

"I'm-"

_FWOOSH!_

"…Princess Kaguya?"

"…AAAAAH! DAMMIT, MOKOU!" At least the cat wasn't on her hand anymore, but now the sleeve of her robe was on fire! That resulted in Kaguya quickly taking her arm out of the sleeve and trying to find some water or something. "Put it out, Mokou!"

"With what? Be happy I got that cat off your hand."

"I don't give a damn! This robe is an extremely rare treasure; nobody's ever been able to find it before!"

"Oh…it's _that_ robe?"

"YES! It's _that_ robe, Mokou! Impossible Request Number Five!"

"Oh, gee, I'm _sorry_, I didn't realize…" Turning to a nearby puddle, Mokou scooped up a handful of water and dropped it all on Kaguya's sleeve, putting out the fire. "I had no idea that these were the robes my father tried so hard to find. But, oh my, nearly half of the sleeve burned off." If it weren't against the rules of the competition, Mokou would burn the rest of the robe too, partially because of the grief that robe had caused her father, and partially to humiliate a Kaguya that would have been flying home naked.

Sliding her arm back through the sleeve, Kaguya lifted up said sleeve to observe. Yep. Nearly half of it was burned away, and almost half of the remainder was blackened. "M-My robe…you burnt it!"

"Big deal!"

"It _is_ a big deal! Do you have any idea what I had to go through to get these damn robes? I'll say this much, robes like these aren't something you can pick up as a shiny piece of loot from some boss in a secluded dungeon near some Oblivion Gate!"

"…Wha-"

"Quiet! And now they're ruined! Now I need some new Impossible Request; having just four is stupid."

"Maybe _you're_ just stupid." Having a close look at the sleeve herself, Mokou took a look at the "damage" she'd done. Nothing a tailor somewhere couldn't fix; Kaguya was just having a serious overreaction. Typical of her. "Anyway, I came to tell you that I found Nitori."

"What?"

"Yeah. You'd think a kappa would avoid the obvious plan of hiding in the water, but Nitori just dove in like it was a swimming pool. Oh, that reminds me, what's that thing behind you?"

"What's behind me?" As soon as Kaguya turned around, she could hear the _whoosh_ noise of Mokou heading back to Youkai Mountain. "Damn coward," Kaguya said. "She really is an idiot, there wasn't anything behind-"

_HISS!_

"…Snake?" Yep, a snake. A very large snake. With black scales and massive fangs. Not to mention that Kaguya was deathly afraid of snakes. "S-S…Snake?"

"Princess Kaguya," Eirin said quickly over the radio. "Where are you? Whatever you do, _don't_ panic, okay? I'm coming to get-"

"SNAAAAAAAAKE!"

_HISS!_

"Help me, Eirin!"

_CHOMP!_

"Princess Kaguya!" Eirin had to go find Kaguya, now! She didn't care if she had to level the entire forest and all of Youkai Mountain just to find her, snake bites were a pretty big deal! "Princess, can you hear me?"

"…"

* * *

><p><strong>That night…<strong>

Eirin couldn't even step into the room. That snake had a pretty venomous bite, enough to instantly kill even a powerful youkai, Nitori had told her. Fortunately, Kaguya was immortal, so that wasn't a problem. Still, that didn't change much for a person when their princess was hospitalized and comatose. Just stepping in that room to check up on Kaguya made Eirin feel like a huge failure for letting this happen to her, so working in her place for this was Reisen, who had gained a few extra (and frighteningly bony) limbs from the most recent test shot of the would-be Wabbajack. As soon as Eirin saw one of Reisen's several arms, she asked "How is she?"

"Not well. Heart rate, pulse, everything's gradually declining. She'll live, though. Just have some faith in her, and give it a day or so."

"Anything else I should know?"

"Yeah. For one thing, we can expect her to be in pretty bad shape when she wakes up. Secondly, I found this on the table next to her bed." Holding out one of her ten or so arms, Reisen showed Eirin a card. Just a regular "get well soon" card, not unlike any other. Then Reisen flipped it open.

On the inside were written the two words "I'm sorry" and where the signature would be, somebody had burned in the shape of a bird.

"I think I know who sent it. Should I go arm the other rabbits?"

"Is that some cheesy pun?"

"Huh? …Oh, I get it. Anyway, weapons, yes or no?"

"No need. Just try and catch her _before_ she visits Kaguya next time. I'd like to have a word with this little birdie."

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you like the Metal Gear Solid reference. Truth be told, I planned out Kaguya yelling "SNAAAAAAKE!" but I actually didn't see it coming when she got bit. At least, not until after I finished writing it. Oh, another thing! Earlier today (It's the tenth right now for reference) I managed to clear Imperishable Night with only one continue! I want to clear the entire game so I can fight Mokou. Speaking of Mokou and Kaguya, lemme know who you're rooting for if you haven't already! So now the score is Kaguya-2, Mokou-2, 2 draws. I realized something funny about numerical alignment, concerning the final event. The 13<strong>**th**** event takes place on Friday (must not think of the song!) which is the 6****th**** day of the week (666, the number of the beast) and is known for Friday the 13****th**** being an unlucky day. Considering who the guest judge is there (not Chen or Orin, by the way) it's kinda funny that such an "evil" day can be associated with her event.**

**Anyway, remember what I said about filler? Would it count as filler if it moved the plot along? I think not now, so expect a chapter or two off from the competition to possibly follow. Poor Kaguya, getting bitten like that. Then again, Eirin said not to panic, so do we put it in the "Impending Doom" pool or the "Digging Your Own Grave" pool?**

**Stupid Danbooru reference for the win**


	8. Chapter 8: Wakeup Call

**I had a bit of difficulty writing this chapter. Mainly, it was tough for me to move Mokou around, and I'm used to starting an event around the point where we see Eirin's office or earlier. But the wait is worth it, at least. While I'm writing this note, I'm listening to some IOSYS, and I find it kinda funny that it's a remix involving the next guest judge. Anyway, on to the story.**

* * *

><p>Yesterday's competition had been fun and all, but today there wouldn't be a competition. It would be far too easy to compete against somebody who currently couldn't even breathe on their own, but Keine had promised to tell when Kaguya was feeling better. Was this regret that Mokou was feeling? Guilt, maybe? Guilt for leaving Kaguya alone with that snake, knowing that it was both aggressive and venomous? That was why she'd snuck into Eientei and left that card at Kaguya's bedside, right? Why else would Mokou ever decide to sneak into Eientei? This was certainly guilt. It wasn't something Mokou felt often, but she didn't like the way it felt at all. Part of her wanted to go back into Eientei, and leave another apology card for Kaguya, maybe with some pointless little gift inside. But part of her knew that somebody would find the card, see the burnt-in bird as a signature, and they would know that Mokou had snuck in, and they'd bolster up security just to be sure. She <em>wanted<em> to go, she _wanted_ to tell Kaguya she was sorry. She wanted to tell _Kaguya_ she was sorry…

"What's eating you up," Keine asked. "You look real upset. And don't give me the usual 'oh, nothing is wrong, Keine' response; I'm a teacher. It's part of my job to know when something's bugging somebody." The sun sat high over Gensokyo, beaming down light and warmth to the entirety of the relatively small world. If Kaguya hadn't been bitten by that snake, her and Mokou would be in the midst of another competition by now. The snake…that had to be it. "It's about that snake, isn't it?"

"…I guess so."

"You're worried about Kaguya, aren't you? And you're wracked with guilt for ditching her in the presence of a venomous snake; one that could have easily killed her if she wasn't immortal. How close am I?"

"Dead on. But I know I shouldn't feel that way. Kaguya's my enemy, I should be happy she's hospitalized! But I'm not. I'm worried sick. Keine, what the hell's going on?" Getting up to her feet, Mokou said "I've gotta go take a walk. I need to just be alone with my thoughts and my own two feet." And out the door Mokou went.

Keine couldn't help but smile. It would have seemed that Eirin's plan to get these two to at least simmer down was working better than either of them could have guessed. Or at least, it was working on Mokou. If this competition hadn't happened, and Kaguya still wound up comatose from the same bite, Mokou would be ecstatic. And the competition wasn't even halfway finished yet, there were still seven more events left! This would be great. Keine could feel it.

* * *

><p><em>KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.<em>

"Welcome to the…hello, Mokou." Not trying to make her effort of blocking the doorway obvious, Eirin said "I need to have a word with you."

"I needed to talk to you, too, so alright." Following the doctor into Eientei, Mokou took a look at her new surroundings. She'd been here just yesterday, but then she was just trying to find Kaguya's room and leave the apology card. Now that she was here, and had the chance to look at her surroundings, it was really quite impressive. It seemed as though the entire building was constructed from bamboo, but Mokou knew better than to believe that silly illusion. Surely there were other materials that one couldn't see, but that didn't subtract from what surrounded her at all. Then they came across the door to Eirin's office, which the doctor kindly opened and allowed Mokou to step through first.

This room looked about the same as the rest of Eientei. Mostly made of bamboo, but there was also a desk here. Was that made of mahogany? Wait, was _all_ the furniture here made of mahogany? "Erm…is that desk-"

"No, it's not made of mahogany," Eirin said as she closed the door behind her. "Neither is anything else here. It's just painted. The reality is that it's oak. Have a seat." Seating herself in the chair behind the desk, behind which sat a large portrait, Eirin placed her hands down on the desk.

Mokou took a seat in the other chair. "So…"

"So. I take it you've seen Kaguya's newfound condition?"

"…Yes, Eirin."

"I would like you to know that I blame you entirely for this. Wait, correction, I blame you _mostly_ for this; Nitori never informed you two about the venomous snakes in the forest."

"I'd like to say that I'm _very_ sorry for leaving Kaguya like that. Genuinely and sincerely sorry, and I'm sorry to see that Kaguya's not feeling so well. Is she getting better?"

"You would have to ask Reisen about that. But I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. It should be Kaguya you're saying this to, in person, face-to-face." Getting up out of her chair, Eirin asked "Would you like to see her?"

"Yes, please." Following Eirin back out of the office and down a few more hallways, Mokou got more than a few dirty looks from many of the rabbits populating Eientei. It wasn't like she could blame them. Quite a few of them had personally fought Mokou in the past as means to defend Kaguya, which usually didn't end well for the rabbits in question. Rabbit stew came to mind. Then, after a few more turns, they came back to the same hospital room Mokou had snuck to yesterday. Same black-haired princess hooked up to the same countless machines that Mokou had no idea what they did. Short of her card vanishing, nothing seemed to change at all. "I'm no doctor, but being hooked up to all that means something bad, right?"

"If she weren't immortal, she would have died instantly. I can't come up with an antidote since I don't understand the poison, but I'm hearing that she's worsening. You can go in if you want, but be brief."

"I will. Thank you." Mokou took a few cautious steps into the room, being careful to not accidentally cut off any cords that she might have missed. Sitting down in the chair next to Kaguya's hospital bed, Mokou just stared for a moment. What did people do when others were in the hospital and nearly dead? Mokou had left a get-well card, but wasn't there something else?

_BEEP. BEEP. BEEP._

Mokou looked to the source of the beeping; that thing had been making noise since yesterday it would've seemed. Mokou wasn't sure what any of it meant, but there was a line going across the middle of a screen, and it kept going up and down every once in a while. Was it measuring something, or supplying something? Whatever it was, the beeping was pretty annoying. Tuning it out, Mokou looked back to Kaguya. What was it that people did for others in the hospital?

_BEEP. BEEP. BEEP._

Oh, right! They spoke to the people in question! Not really sure what to say, Mokou started "Hey, Kaguya…it's Mokou. Can you hear me?"

_BEEP. BEEP. BEEP._

"I just wanted to say that I'm really, _really_ sorry that I left you there with that snake. I don't know what I was thinking. I mean, I know snakes are poisonous and stuff, but…"

_Tap, tap, tap._

"Hm?" Turning to whoever was tapping on the wall, Mokou nearly started hurling fireballs on old instinct. Reisen U. Inaba; Kaguya's number-one bodyguard aside from Eirin. Fortunately, going so long without attacking Kaguya was doing wonders to keep Mokou from being violent. "Hey, Reisen."  
>"Hello, Mokou. I'm here to check up on Princess Kaguya."<p>

"Oh, go right ahead. I couldn't figure this stuff out if you paid me."

"It's a good thing you're not on the Eientei payroll then, isn't it?" Stepping into the room to have a look at the machines, Reisen asked "So, how's the competition coming along?"

"Hitting an all-time low. We're almost halfway in, and the score is tied. The first event was a painful draw, then I got a win, then another draw, and Kaguya suddenly pulled out a winning streak for two events. I just won the last event, and now we're here."

"I think we'll all remember that painful draw. I had to keep changing how the light waves moved from Kaguya's computer screen so that she could see her entire game once she figured out that I could do that." Finishing her check-up, Reisen said "Well, have a nice day."

"I'm certainly trying."

_BEEP…BEEP…_

"Hm? That beeping sounds slower."

"Oh my." Running back over to look at the many screens, Reisen's red eyes kept darting from one screen to the next, like she was trying to see everything at once. "Oh, no. Oh, no, this is bad. Really bad."

"What? What's so bad?"

"Well…when we first got her in here, her heart rate and her pulse and just about everything started going down. It's gone back up since last night, but now it's going back down again!"

"She's immortal."

"I know, but still!" Reisen looked like she was about to panic. It was mostly stress from being forced to do all the work at Eientei that Eirin didn't do (namely the work that all the other rabbits handed over to her) and this new mountain of stress from having to check up on and care for a princess that had been turned into a vegetable, which in total is a lot of stress. "Immortal or not, a lowering heart rate is bad news, Mokou!"

"So what do we do?"

"Well…there's not much we actually _can_ do. Our defibrillators seem to have been stolen overnight; you're not a suspect, so don't worry."

"Hey, Kaguya! Wake up!"

_…-_

"Her heart's not beating," Reisen exclaimed, sounding more than panicked. "Help me figure something out, fast!"

"Hmm…" Mokou did have _one_ idea. Putting her mouth right up to Kaguya's ear, Mokou took in the deepest breath she could.

"Mokou, what are you doing? We need to fix Princess Kaguya's heartbeat!"

"Hey, dumbass," Mokou yelled at the top of her lungs, right into Kaguya's ear. "Get off your NEET ass and finish this competition!"

_BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP-_

_COUGH! COUGH, COUGH!_

"Well I'll be damned," Mokou said. "It worked."

"It…worked?"

"Damn -cough- damn straight it worked!" Kaguya got up into a sitting position, her heartbeat now beginning to go down to a more stable rate. Her hands reached onto the mask they'd put on her to help her breathe, pulled it off, and those hands held the mask out to Reisen. "Wow, that was creepy," she said.

"Welcome back, Princess Kaguya," Reisen said.

"Glad to be back. Now for _you_, you damn birdbrain. You left me there with a poisonous snake! I could've died," she yelled at Mokou.

"You're immortal," Mokou yelled back. "We established this-OW, my eye!" The phoenix-possessed girl reeled back in pain from one surprisingly hard jab directly to her left eyeball. "I think it's bleeding…dammit this hurts!"

"Serves you right," Kaguya said. Hopping down off the hospital bed, Kaguya said "I'm still mad about that knife you threw in my eye."

"Bitch, please! That was almost a week ago!"

"So? I don't-MY KNEE!" Now Kaguya was hopping up and down on one leg, the knee of the other being firmly held by both of her hands. Mokou had kicked her right in the knee, and even managed to get her toes beneath the kneecap, thus hitting all those sensitive nerves. "Ow, that's my knee, Mokou! What the hell's your problem?"

* * *

><p><strong>Not much later…<strong>

"Sorry about this," Reisen said as her and Tewi both literally threw Mokou out the front door of Eientei. "So," she asked Tewi afterward. "What's your take on these events?"

"Glad to see our two competing morons are back on their feet."

* * *

><p><strong>The only real problem I had writing this was getting Mokou to the hospital room, but to quote the song I'm listening to (same one from the opening notes)<strong>

**SUCCESS!**

**Some of you may now know the guest judge, and some of you may not. If you do, please don't mention who they are in your review of this chapter; and odds are that if you know who it is, you know the next event. Also, I personally enjoyed the part where Mokou and Kaguya burst into a tiny brawl in the hospital room. The end of this chapter makes me think of the chapter with Alice, when Eirin was escorted off the premises by armed dolls.**

**Now Mokou's gonna have a black eye and Kaguya's gonna be limping XD I love this story so much sometimes**


	9. Chapter 9: Welcome to the Club!

**Well, my usual 4-page system didn't work this time. This chapter's about 75% the size of my usual chapters, but I couldn't seem to find a way to juice out the other 25% without looking like a douchebag who just wants a high word count. Anyway, as I've said, Kaguya's winning streak is about to come to a humiliating end in the blink of an eye. Now start reading, you hungry little readers, you!**

* * *

><p>Mokou wasn't used to holding icepacks. Usually, she just melted them on touch, but Keine was making her not melt this one. "It's real cold, Keine."<p>

"Ice tends to be. And since when were you one to complain about cold?"

"Hey, I'm not used to having ice put directly against my eye, alright? Kaguya's not strong, but she's got a nasty punch." Putting the ice pack down for a second to show Keine her new shiner, Mokou asked "Is it looking any better?"

"Ehrm…no. Sorry, but it's still a really nasty-looking black eye." The skin around Mokou's eye was really bruised, her eyelid was a bit swollen, and the eyeball under it had gone near-completely red. "Can you put the icepack back on your eye, please?"

"What, are you disgusted by it?"

"Truth be told…a little."

"Your students get black eyes all the time! Why should it be different for me?"

"Quit being such a baby. What's getting into you recently?"

"What's getting into _you_? You're not usually this grouchy."

"I'd tell you if I could, but…I'm sorry."

* * *

><p>"For the last time, Eirin, I don't need any physical therapy." Kaguya was at her usual seat of NEET power; in front of her computer screen. "I'm fine, alright?"<p>

"Okay. Let's head out for the next event, then."

"So soon? Okay, I guess." Kaguya got up to her feet, but fell about halfway back down nearly instantly. "…I don't need physical therapy."

"I think Mokou may have damaged some nerves or muscles beneath your kneecap. You need at least some minimal physical therapy."

Getting up to her feet, Kaguya managed to stand straight up, her face shining with a feeling of accomplishment. "See? I told you I didn't-" _THUD!_

"Are you alright?" _At least it's a good thing she fell down onto the mattress, I guess._

"Mm fmgm fmmdmhm dm nmhm!"

"What?"

Lifting her head off the mattress, Kaguya yelled "I don't need physical therapy!"

* * *

><p><strong>Some time around six in the afternoon…<strong>

"This is the place," Mokou and Kaguya asked in unison. It looked a bit…what was the word needed? Unofficial? Illegitimate? Looked like something that somebody just built out of spare time, boredom, and a few random materials? Was this place even an official establishment? The sign that said "Club Ibuki" hanging over the door said so, however horrible the handwriting was. As a whole, the "club" looked like something a drunk built overnight.

"I know it doesn't look like much on the outside," Keine said. "But it's very different once you're inside."

"If you say so." Mokou stepped up to the door first, one hand still holding an icepack to her eye. For a brief moment, she could have sworn that the door blinked at her. But doors did not blink. So, opening the door, Mokou took a step in, and was taken by surprise.

Kaguya followed with a nasty limp. She had the same expression of utter surprise. Outside, the building looked very poorly built and seemed to be an altogether mess, but inside, it was like a completely different building! Not only was it much larger, but numerous tables dotted most of the inside, with a massive bar along the wall opposite the door. In the middle of everything was a large square portion of floor with numerous lights shining from beneath that kept changing colors. In a nearby corner, not far from the bar, there was what looked like some kind of table with a number of disks. Just what on earth was this place?

"Welcome to -hic- Club Ibuki," the bartender shouted from across the building. "Come on up, grab -hic- a seat!" She was of small stature, and flat chest. She had long orange hair, and eyes to match, as well as a pair of horns sticking out of her head. Most of all, she seemed to be hopelessly drunk; how very fitting for the owner. Suika pulled up a purple gourd; a legendary treasure among oni that held endless sake; and took down a mouthful of the contents. "So, what can -hic- I get you two?"

"They're with us," Eirin said as she and Keine stepped inside. Eirin seemed to make an effort of averting her eyes from the color-changing lights in the center of the floor. "Remember our arrangement?"

"Hm? I don't -hic- remember any arrangement."

"Does something along the lines of 'Eientei will fund you for the next month if you give these two all the sake they can drink tonight' ring any bells?"

"Oh! That arrangement! Alright -hic- you two, come with me." Suika stepped out from behind (or more accurately, made a very clumsy jump over) the bar, and had a seat at a table with three chairs. Putting a hand down on the table, she said "Both of you, -hic- sit down. Lemme explain."

"Is this a drinking contest," Kaguya asked as she and Mokou made their way to the table.

"You -hic- betcha! Whoever can drink the most sake without falling over wins!"

"Okay, but are we drinking it out of that gourd? I don't see any glasses."

"Oh, right!" Leaping back out of her seat, Suika ran around behind the bar, grabbed two large mugs meant more for beer than sake, and ran back around to the table. "We're using beer mugs because -hic- it's easier. I'd get some music going, but -hic- our DJ seems to not be here today." Was it because she didn't want to get involved with this competition? That sounded like a pretty Taoist thing to do, so Suika went with that conclusion. _She's not getting paid today. _Then the oni barkeep set the two mugs down on the table, one in front of each competitor.

Lifting one of the mugs, Kaguya asked "I dunno…liver cancer doesn't sound like my thing."

"Oh please," Suika said. "I've been -hic- drinking sake since probably before you -hic- were born, and I'm fine!"

"But you're an oni."

"And you're immortal," Mokou said. "And I'm sure Eirin has invented some kind of cure for cancer by now."

"She did that a _long_ time ago. Right now she's working on a cure for death." Her confidence in this event newly invigorated, Kaguya said "Let the drinking begin!"

"That's -hic- the spirit!" Suika poured the competitors each their first round of sake, and took a mouthful herself.

* * *

><p><strong>Not much later…<strong>

"I'm not -hic- losing to some bird lady," Kaguya slurred. "Another round of -hic- sake!"

_She's doomed,_ Mokou thought to herself. _It hasn't even been a full minute yet and she's already plastered. Makes enough sense that no princess can win a drinking contest._ Especially not when Mokou knew her way around a bar. "Give up Kaguya. You're already drunk."

"I'm not -hic- drunk! I'm just…" _THUD!_

"Yep, she's down." That would make Mokou the winner. Were there any victories in this competition so far that came this quickly? Well, there was Mokou's humiliating loss in the breath-holding contest…Mokou didn't enjoy thinking about that loss. Lifting Kaguya up off her feet, Mokou asked Eirin "Has she ever had alcohol before?"

"Not before today," the doctor answered. "And after this, I don't think she should have any for a _very_ long time."

"At least we agree on that. She's too stupid to be allowed to drink." With that, everybody but Suika began making their way out of this little bar/club.

* * *

><p><strong>It's short D:<strong>

**I can't get used to the shortness of this chapter. I'm going to try and compensate with a longer-than-usual chapter within the next…oh, four or five events. Now to drop some hints about the other guest judges; feel free to leave your guesses. I'm not going to say if you're right unless you actually get more than one right, but which ones you were right on is for you to find out :P**

**We've already seen the next guest judge in this fanfic, but not as a guest judge.**

**After that, we're looking at an extra boss with a hat.**

**Following her is yet another extra boss; one who has been mentioned in at least one of my fanfics.**

**Once she's out of the way, we'll see a character from UFO!**

**The second-to-last guest judge didn't even appear in any official games!**

**And the very last guest judge…let's just say I saved the best for last ;**


	10. Chapter 10: Cutting the Bamboo Cutter

**Another short chapter D:**

**Well, at least I got it done, right? The delay between this one and the last one has been a long time of trying to get the long words out, and you can also expect the next chapter to be rather short compared to my usual. I'll explain why at the end of the chapter.**

* * *

><p>Kaguya woke up with a massive hangover. This wasn't something she'd experienced before, and the headache was killing her. "Eirin!"<p>

* * *

><p>"Morning, Mokou. You're up early."<p>

"I guess I am," the phoenix-possessed girl said. "Where are we going for today's event?"

"Back to the Netherworld," Keine said. "And it's nice to see that eye's looking better."

"Thanks…wait, we're going there _again_? Who else could be guest-judging?"

* * *

><p>Youmu handed Kaguya and Mokou each one bamboo sword, and said "Just go all-out. You're both immortal, right?"<p>

Kaguya seemed to want to shout protests out at the top of her lungs. At least her leg was at peak condition again; it would have been catastrophic if she were to fall down in this competition. "I don't want to-"

_THWACK!_

Mokou grinned devilishly at Kaguya, saying "I'm sure you can do it. You play all those martial arts games, right? _Surely_ all that crap you learned playing those can win you this competition."

"Are you mocking me?"

"Probably."

"…alright, let's do this thing."

* * *

><p>Kaguya and Mokou stood across from each other in the gardens of Hakugyokurou, each one wearing some training gear and carrying a bamboo sword each. The two also each had a different form of blazing passion to win in their eyes. In Mokou's case, it was reflected by literal fire in her pupils. "Whenever you're ready," the phoenix-possessed girl taunted.<p>

Kaguya looked to the tip of her weapon. Then over to the three judges, who were joined by Yuyuko, who was eating from a massive bowl of popcorn. Just how long would that popcorn last? Wait, this wasn't the time to get-

_ THWACK!_

Perfect shots like that were impossible to resist, especially for Mokou. One solid swing to Kaguya's side had the Lunarian princess stumbling over, so Mokou hit the other side to try and balance her out. _THWACK!_ For somebody immortal, Kaguya was sure weak! Why could this NEET not withstand her attacks? Time for a third-

_THWACK!_

Mokou flinched in surprise that Kaguya actually landed a hit. It didn't hit that hard, but it was still quite a surprise.

* * *

><p>"Well now it's just getting boring," Yuyuko said. The fight had just about turned into a staring contest between Mokou and Kaguya. "Oh, and we're out of popcorn. Youmu, could you fix up another bowl?"<p>

"Already done," Youmu said as a duplicate brought in another large bowl of popcorn and took away Yuyuko's empty bowl. "I was hoping Mokou would settle it early when she had the chance. They've just been staring at each other for an hour now…should we interfere to make them continue? But that's against rules."

"I have an idea," Yuyuko said with an eerie happiness. "We could give them a time limit."

"Yuyuko-sama, that's against the rules."

"You two have to settle it before I finish this bowl of popcorn," Yuyuko shouted to Mokou and Kaguya. "Or else Youmu dies!"

"Y-Y…Yuyuko-sama!"

"Oh, calm down. Have a look." Yuyuko's hauntingly casual death-threat did indeed get the two moving in high gear. Bamboo swords were being swung in just about every direction imaginable, and even a couple that weren't imaginable!

"I have the competition already," Kaguya said to Mokou, swinging her weapon seemingly randomly. "Give up, Mokou!"

"I'd rather die than surrender," Mokou said enthusiastically. She was enjoying the as-of-yet unprecedented chance to be able to assault Kaguya and still be in the rules of the competition. It showed in how rapidly her arms swung, deflecting all of Kaguya's attacks and after one lucky parry that caused the princess to lose her footing for a second, releasing an unrelenting barrage of attacks that continued pushing the Lunarian further and further back. "It's futile," Mokou said in a tone that bordered on sadistic. "Futile, futile, futile, futile futile futile futile **futile!**" Mokou punctuated her sentence with one final hit, with all of her might, aimed at the side of Kaguya's head. Good thing the protective gear given to the two before the match included helmet's; Mokou had swung so hard she snapped the bamboo sword clean in half! But that did settle the match.

Kaguya was face-down on the ground, angrily screaming something that was muffled by the ground. And before long, Eirin pulled her back up to her feet to make her stream of angry words perfectly audible. "-cking little bird-brained bitch! Enjoy this victory, Fujiwara no Mokou, because I intend to absolutely destroy you in the next event!" And much like the last time the two had gone to Hakugyokurou, Kaguya stormed off absolutely enraged and red as a beet.

"Did you really have to swing that hard," Eirin asked. "I hope you didn't hurt Kaguya, Mokou."

"She used to get killed daily," Mokou replied casually. "She'll be fine."

"If you say so…"

* * *

><p>Keine was making an exception on her no-smoking rule tonight; Mokou earned it for her three-event winning streak that put her up in the lead ahead of Kaguya. Across the room from the front door was a blackboard, and Keine had tally marks for Kaguya's and Mokou's victories. The score now was two wins for Kaguya, and three for Mokou. "Well done," Keine applauded.<p>

"I guess that's just the power of determination." After a triumphant drag on her cigarette, Mokou helped herself to a swig from a bottle of beer Keine had bought specially to celebrate this event.

"Strange…"

"Huh?"

"If I recall, you said something awfully similar about two months ago; you'd been able to kill Kaguya five or six times a day for a week straight without even getting hurt. When _that_ happened, you said it was the power of your hatred for Kaguya, _not_ determination. I think things are changing between you two~"

And cue spit take. Beer shot out of Mokou's mouth like shrapnel, and not a split second later did Mokou shout, with a deep red face that made her white hair seem even whiter, "You're crazy!"

* * *

><p>"Why do you think I lost, Reisen?" Kaguya walked through the halls of Eientei in her usual NEET tracksuit, trying to not look at Reisen's new (and rather horrifying) mutation; a face absolutely covered in bulging red eyes.<p>

"Oh, um…I don't mean to offend, Princess, but Mokou is brash and has a high capacity for aggression in combat. And you…well, to be frank, you couldn't fight if your immortal life depended on it."

"…thanks," Kaguya said sarcastically. "I feel _way_ better."

"I'm sorry that it had to be that way, but…"

"No, it's okay," Kaguya said, exhaling from a deep breath to help calm her down. "You're just being honest is all. I shouldn't be mad at you, I _should_ be mad at Mokou instead. So why aren't I?"

"Did you ever consider…that it might be, well…love?"

"L-L…Love? Ha…ha…" And cue laughter. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! As if! That girl's just like her father; none of those Fujiwara folks seem to know when to give up!" Sliding open the door to her room, she took a look at her thing. Her computer, on top of which rested…it was gone! Kaguya nearly had a heart attack; the Jeweled Branch of Hourai had been stolen! And where once the Stone Begging Bowl of Buddha rested, more empty space! Kaguya darted around every corner of her room, hyperventilating something fierce. But…at least they left _that_, didn't they? Almost afraid to check, Kaguya opened her closet.

And the next thing anybody in Eientei, the Bamboo Forest of the Lost, or anywhere within a half mile of that place heard was Kaguya shrieking at the top of her lungs "Eirin, the Five Impossible Requests have been stolen!"

* * *

><p><strong>First off, Kaguya's things getting stolen had been planned out about five or six chapters ago; you'll see why in a couple of chapters. It was also not Mokou who stole them, nor will Kaguya ask Mokou to retrieve them (sorry, Azure, but your princess is in another castle)<strong>

**As for the short chapter thing, the last chapter came out as 3 pages on my computer as opposed to the usual 4, as did this one. The next one will be about half the size of my usual chapters so I can hopefully get back on my usual 4-chapter streak in time for the final four events. Because three plus three plus two equals eight :D**

**And while we're on the topic of math…the next chapter happens to be the ninth event, and (SPOILER ALERT) it involves math a lot.**

**Care to guess who the guest judge is? I doubt you'll guess correctly, in all honesty. You'll be rather surprised…don't let that make you think it's Kogasa, because I swear on my as-of-yet-not-mine Mima plushie that it's not her.**


	11. Chapter 11: Perfect Math Class 9R

**Alright, confession time. I actually had this finished the same day as the last chapter, but since I couldn't get over the shortness, I decided to upload it the following day to compensate; can't give people too much story at once, can I?**

**CAN I? Hahaha, I hope you enjoy this chapter despite its shortness, and while I would have certainly done more, I'm just sort of lazy, and I needed to get back on my 4-page track; especially since I only have five or six chapters left!**

**And just to clarify, Azure, Kaguya's computer wasn't stolen. Just the two or three Impossible Requests that sat on and around it.**

* * *

><p>Kaguya didn't sleep at all. Her Five Impossible Requests; such important relics, were just stolen right under her nose! Who on earth (or the moon, for that matter) was cunning enough to sneak into Eientei, get past <em>every<em> guard, including Eirin herself, sneak into Kaguya's room, and steal all of her Impossible Requests at once? Just trying to figure out who the mastermind was wore her out, and she groggily turned to face the sound of her door opening.

"I have all the rabbits searching," Eirin said. "If they can't find those requests of yours, we'll go to the Myouren Temple and ask for their help." Eirin had heard that there was a youkai or two there who could find treasures with relative ease, so getting their help would be invaluable in the search for the treasures. "But for now, we have to attend the next event."

"I don't want to go," Kaguya whined; nearly mourned. "My robes were stolen."

"Wear your tracksuit," Eirin said. "Are you really going to give Mokou the pleasure of seeing you surrender?"

"She can have the pleasure, I -yawn- I don't care anymore," Kaguya said exhaustedly. "I just want to try and sleep."

"…I heard she called you fat," Eirin lied.

"Let's kick some ass," Kaguya near-instantly said, now fully awake.

* * *

><p>"First off, I'd like to congratulate Mokou," Ran said, handing both Kaguya and Mokou a small booklet of papers. "Your winning streak was more than impressive. Now for the matter at hand. This booklet holds one thousand mathematical equations, and you two have to finish them all. Some are harder than others, but to really apply pressure, you have a time limit."<p>

"How long do we have," Mokou asked. "Math isn't really my strong suit, so…"

"You both have until Yukari-sama wakes up."

"…oh. I bet I could finish in that time."

"I'm sure you can. When you two finish, just give the booklets to Eirin and Keine so they can bring them to me; I have to go find Chen and make sure she isn't in any trouble."

* * *

><p><strong>That night…<strong>

"My, these scores are impressive," Yukari said. "Well, one is at least."

"I sort of did doubt Mokou a little," Ran said. "Though Kaguya seemed rather off her rocker when we first met her, too, so I wasn't sure how she would score. But it certainly is impressive."

"I'll say. That princess only missed one question!"

"As for Mokou…" Not such a pleasant score. One question short of getting a hundred right, which would have meant absolutely nothing against Kaguya's next-to-perfect results. "Well, Kaguya won. And if you'll kindly excuse me, I have to go tell Kaguya and Mokou how they did."

"Oh, of course." Yukari opened a gap near Ran, and said "Just head through there."

* * *

><p>"…that good?"<p>

"Indeed. Well done, Kaguya; I bet Eirin's proud to have such a genius princess to protect."

"How did Mokou take the news of her score?"

"I'd rather not answer that question," Ran replied hesitantly, moving one of her nine tails beneath the rest to hide the burn marks. "And I heard about the thief that came through here. I asked Yukari to help, or even allow me to, but she won't have anything to do with it."

"That old hag!"

"Please hold your insults until _after_ I've left."

"Oh, right. Sorry." And with a wave goodbye, Kaguya watched Ran head back through the gap to…wherever it was Yukari lived. And _then_ Kaguya said, with increased enthusiasm and volume, "That old hag!"

* * *

><p>"Ninety-nine out of a thousand…" Mokou shuddered at the score. "Keine, how the hell do you teach all of those kids?"<p>

"I'm not sure. Oh, did you hear? Somebody snuck into Eientei and stole those Five Impossible Requests that you were on about the other day."

"I heard. Part of me wants to laugh, but something inside me is saying to not laugh, and to actually _help_ her look. Any ideas what it could be?"

"Oh, gee," Keine said sarcastically. "It couldn't _possibly_ be love, could it? Or at least friendliness?"

"Get real!"

* * *

><p>"Here. Hide them <em>well<em>; I can't have Kaguya _or_ Mokou finding them too soon."

"You've got it." The mouse youkai took the five priceless treasures in hand and flew off. Somebody was entrusting her with the task of hiding the Five Impossible Requests all across Gensokyo in all but the most subtle of places, and Nazrin intended to do her job right. The person handing her the requests even had charms placed on them so that only Nazrin, Kaguya, Mokou, and the thief could so much as touch these treasures. That was most certainly a powerful charm…

* * *

><p><strong>Hahaha, I hope Ran was a surprise! Like I said in the last chapter, Kogasa won't show up here; she already has her own fanfic in which she co-stars alongside the cute adorable Rumia~<strong>

**You know, now that I look back at some of my older works (cough cough Poisonous Chinese Tea) I've certainly matured as a writer since I first started writing fanfics. No, really. Read some of my older works (Poisonous Chinese Tea and Attack of the Yukkuri are my oldest) and compare them to my newer ones, like this and Team Nineball's Daring Adventure. I should get back to that Daring Adventure one; it doesn't even have a single review at the time that this chapter is being uploaded D:**


	12. Chapter 12: Five Impossible Requests

**I want to say something here that sounds really ZUN-ish because of the title of this chapter, but I can't seem to think of anything. Perhaps at the end of the chapter?**

**Enjoy this chapter, and the rather silly filler scene starring two of my top 3 favorite UFO characters.**

* * *

><p>It had been two days since Kaguya first found that her priceless treasures were stolen. It had been horrible! She wasn't even in the mood to play any games on her computer because she was too worried for her Impossible Requests. "I'm not going anywhere until we find the Five Impossible Requests," Kaguya said stubbornly to Eirin.<p>

"Princess Kaguya, you have no choice."

"Yes I do! I'm a princess, remember?"

"…Princess-"

"I said I'm not going!"

* * *

><p>"The task is easy," Nazrin said. "I've scattered five priceless treasures around Gensokyo. You should know what to do from there, eh?"<p>

"It was _you_," Kaguya said accusingly, pointing a shaking finger right at Nazrin. "_You_ stole the Five Impossible Requests!"

"Actually," Eirin said. "That was _me_."

"Y…_YOU_? Eirin, _you_ stole the Five Impossible Requests?"

"If you want them back, you'd better go find them. Whoever brings back the most items is declared winner, and I don't see Mokou anywhere. Probably went off to find the Impossible Requests before you. When the sun starts setting, meet the three of us back here, alright?"

"…" Without a word, Kaguya sped off. Her mind couldn't grasp it; _Eirin_ was the thief instead of the usual suspects like Marisa or even Mokou. Just why had Eirin done this?

* * *

><p>"I'll find all five of them," Mokou said enthusiastically to herself, speeding through the Forest of Magic. "All five of those Impossible Requests will be found by me; Fujiwara no Mokou, and I'll show that NEET just how awesome of a scavenger hunter she's up against!" Not only that, but Mokou was still shocked by the huge difference in scores from yesterday's math test. While she was running though, Mokou tripped over a branch on the ground. Not long after landing on her face, Mokou turned around, to find that she'd stumbled upon one of the requests! The Jeweled Branch of Hourai was now Mokou's!<p>

* * *

><p>"Where would they be," Kaguya asked herself. "Just where could they be?" Kaguya was absolutely horrendous at finding things, and even that would be a compliment to her skill at scavenger hunts. She needed to find all five of them before Mokou could even lay her hands on one of those Impossible Requests!<p>

* * *

><p>"What's up, Rinnosuke?"<p>

"Hello, Mokou. You're a rather rare sight here in Kourindou. What can I interest you in today?"

"News on Kaguya's Five Impossible Requests."

"Ha-ha." Rinnosuke reached under the counter, and pulled out a small box. "That mouse youkai left one here in a box for me to give to either you or Kaguya; whoever showed up first. Congratulations, Mokou. You've just obtained The Robe of the Fire Rat."

"Yes!" Mokou held up the box triumphantly, imagining some kind of short four-note fanfare sounding off in her head. "Thanks a lot, Rinnosuke. Say, do you know where any others are? I have the Jeweled Branch of Hourai too, but I don't know where the other three could be at."

"I'm afraid I can't help you there," Rinnosuke said, shrugging. "I was only trusted with that one; Nazrin didn't tell me anything…about…hey, you!" Rinnosuke pointed at the winged youkai sneaking into Kourindou, and shouted "I already told you not to come back here!" And with that, Rinnosuke leapt over the counter, in pursuit of the youkai that was now running away. He'd have to count himself lucky if none of his books were taken.

"Alright, then…thanks again, Rinnosuke." Now where would the other three be at?

* * *

><p>"I don't have any, ze."<p>

"Are you sure about that, Marisa? Your reputation as a thief is even bigger than your ego, and if I find out you've been hiding my own Impossible Requests from me, I'll make sure you and your entire family suffer for all eternity."

"Go ahead; they disowned me when I became a witch, ze."

"Then…if you're lying, I'll steal your hat!"

Marisa's face paled in shock. Was Kaguya bluffing? Everybody knew better than to mess with Marisa Kirisame; the mad witch of the Forest of Magic. And _everybody_ knew better than to even touch her hat, let alone steal it! That was the kind of thing that led to fairies being vaporized left and right for weeks on end. "I swear on Mima-sama, I don't have any of your things, ze."

"…alright."

* * *

><p>It was almost sunset at the Myouren Temple, and things were…well, surprisingly normal. Right now the most action in the ship of a temple was a heated argument between Nue and Murasa. "I was here first," Murasa shouted. "That's why I'm <em>Captain<em> Murasa!"

"Well when the miko came through on that investigation, you couldn't even stop her," Nue shouted in return. Her hair was straight today. Curly hair was getting old.

"You couldn't stop her either! And you tried _twice_ to stop her!"

"…"

"Ha!" Murasa crossed her arms over her chest proudly, and said "That settles it. I'm the better servant to Lady Hijiri."

"As if! Ooh, you can make boats sink; there aren't boats in Gensokyo!"

"Yeah, well what can you do better than me?"

Nue quickly shifted her shape to that of Murasa, and said "This!" And now the form of Byakuren Hijiri herself! "I can even be a decoy Hijiri! If she's in danger, she can send me out looking like her to fool would-be assassins!"

"Nobody would try to assassinate Hijiri!"

"Nobody would try a naval raid on the Myouren Temple!"

"Hijiri gave me _this entire ship_ as a gift! What did she give you?"

"…" With an expression of near-defeat, Nue reverted back to her real form, still keeping the straight hair.

"Exactly!"

"I had a hell of a lot more involvement in reviving her than you did, Murasa!"

"Both of you shut up," Mokou shouted, nearly kicking the door down to get in. The phoenix-possessed girl walked in with two arms full of five priceless treasures, as she set them all down on the floor and sat down next to them. "Is Kaguya back yet?"

"She's not here," Murasa said. Then, pointing over to the girl with the long black hair and the tracksuit who looked exactly like Kaguya, she added "That's just Nue being stupid." Not a split second later did Murasa leap out of the way of a blue pitchfork being hurled at her full force. But it did graze her, leaving a somewhat deep cut on her arm. "Oh…it's _that_ kind of fight today." Grabbing the nearest anchor, Murasa shouted "Bring it on, you nutcase!"

"I'm the nutcase," Nue asked. "_You're_ the maniac trying to kill me with an anchor!"

"…but…anchors are awesome."

"Quiet, both of you," Kaguya said angrily as she stormed into the door. "I've had a hell of a day so far and I'm not willing to hear two morons fight each other over some stupid crap forever."

"Sound familiar," Mokou asked.

"Y…how dare you!"

"Guess what I have that you don't, Kaguya."

"Go ahead," Kaguya said. "Mock me. I can see them all right there next to you. You damn birdbrain."

Handing the Impossible Requests to Kaguya, Mokou said "And with this, the Fujiwara family honor is restored!" _SLAP!_

"I thought it was because I denied a proposal that it was taken away. You're not going to get down on your knees and ask me to marry you, are you? …are you?"

"Ha! Over my dead body!"

"Ah, I see you're both back," Keine said. "But I doubt you found _all of those_, Kaguya. Nue, Murasa, can you stop fighting over there for a second and tell me how many treasures these two brought back?"

"Kaguya didn't find any," Nue said, leaning back to avoid an anchor being swung at her. "And Mokou-" _THWANK!_

"Mokou found all five of them," Murasa finished after knocking Nue near-literally into next week with a solid anchor hit to the head. "If you'll excuse me, I have to hide Nue somewhere before Hijiri or Shou sees this."

"They're so stupid," Kaguya and Mokou said in unison. Then the two looked at each other for a moment, before looking away again with slightly redder faces.

"Don't think I think any more highly of you just because you brought these to me, Mokou."

"Wouldn't dream of it, Kaguya."

* * *

><p>Kaguya felt good to have her prized possessions back where they belonged. All thanks to Mokou. When that thought crossed Kaguya's mind, her fingers stopped dancing along the keyboard of her computer for a second. …all thanks to Mokou.<p>

"I hope you can forgive me for going behind your back like that, Princess Kaguya."

"Well…everything's back now, so…sure."

* * *

><p>"Don't you feel better after giving Kaguya those Five Impossible Requests?"<p>

"I guess so, Keine." The score was now five wins against three. That meant that unless Kaguya won all three of the remaining events, Mokou would be declared the ultimate victor! But why didn't she care? "I've been feeling really different since we started this competition. From seeing her get impaled by that knife in the knife-throwing contest…"

"To how she stole the cook-off with her Fujiwara family recipe. The way I wound up with this Mokou doll…"

"And how I was actually worried about Kaguya when that snake bit her. That feeling of slight concern when she passed out in the drinking contest…"

"And now these Five Impossible Requests."

Despite distance, and the fact that neither of them would know the other had even said it, both Mokou and Kaguya found themselves saying "I guess you could say things have changed. Does that make me crazy, to not hate her anymore? She's my enemy now and forever, I'm _supposed_ to hate her. Everything I've been feeling is new and strange to me, so I need your help to understand how exactly I've been feeling since this competition has started…"

"Because even though she's an annoying NEET…"

"And despite her being a birdbrain…"

"Her obnoxious attitude,"

"Her harsh way of treating folks,"

"And the fact that she's my enemy," the two finished, "I _don't_ hate her. Don't tell her I said so, though, or I'll make sure you don't ever live it down."

* * *

><p><strong>The two really didn't like each other at first, but they've learned to get along by competing like this. That's how most rivalries end, I like to imagine. It really reminds you that the world is pretty much meant to change no matter what you do, so you're best off changing with it.<strong>

…**how ZUN-ish did that sound?**

**Oh, one more thing before I finish these notes. I was trying to figure out why this chapter felt out of place, then I realized that Nazrin's event was supposed to be AFTER the next event instead of before. No big deal. Anyway, out of the last three guest judges, two of them are EX bosses, and one of them didn't appear in an official game.**

**TELL. ME. WHO. YOU. THINK. WILL. APPEAR. IN. YOUR. REVIEW! I want to know who you think it will be :D**


	13. Chapter 13: Subterranean Liquids

**The final three events begin! Unless I wind up with a filler chapter, there are only going to be four or five chapters after this, **_**maybe**_** six, and if I **_**realllllly **_**want to imagine what would happen after all this, a sequel. Don't count on that, though; I'm not one to write sequels.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Much thanks to Azure Xuchilbara for recommending this event to me during the early stages of this fanfic.**

* * *

><p>The sun rose in Gensokyo. The final three events began today. Kaguya woke up bright and early to greet the new day and the event that could come with it. "Alright, Eirin. I'm ready to go. Now then…where's today's event?"<p>

* * *

><p>"Mokou, today's event is going to start soon!" Keine dragged the phoenix-possessed girl out of bed, pulled her up to her feet, and asked "Why are you so out of it today?"<p>

"I don't know. Events? Yeah, let's just head out."

* * *

><p>"Your timing couldn't have been better," Satori said to Eirin and Keine, watching the event from some distance. "Trying to get Koishi to take a bath has been a nightmare for the last few days."<p>

"I still don't get how this is relevant," Eirin said. "They bathe Koishi and whoever she says did the better job is winner? Why does this event fit in again?"

"It probably doesn't. But it's a competition nonetheless and it happens to help get Koishi to take a bath."

* * *

><p>"Put your head back," Kaguya said, tilting Koishi's head back a little. She still didn't really get why they were doing this event. Give Koishi a bath and whoever the girl said did the best job would be declared winner. Certainly an odd event, but comparing generosity or taking a math test was also somewhat bizarre when compared to the rest of the events. "How are we doing so far?"<p>

"Can you two always come down when I have to take a bath?" This was probably the best bath Koishi had ever taken so far. Kaguya and Mokou made for interesting and rather amusing company, and it was always nice to see people that weren't from the Palace of Earth Spirits.

"Oh, gee, I don't know…Mokou, quit scrubbing so hard!" Kaguya smacked the phoenix-possessed girl in the back of the head. The two were certainly of different upbringings; the rugged daughter of an old Japanese aristocracy and the lavished princess of the moon. It showed in how the two bathed Koishi. Kaguya knew that it was important to wash one's hair as well as the rest of the body, and scrubbed softly, prioritizing comfort over speed.

Mokou…did not. When Mokou scrubbed Koishi's body, she went faster and slightly rougher than Kaguya did. Satori had warned both of them before the event to not anger Koishi, lest they face the wrath of the younger Komeiji sister. Mokou didn't care too much about any wrath since she was immortal. "Relax. This is how my father used to give me baths, so it should be fine, right?"

"You're not trying to bring up a birdbrain who can control the subconscious, are you?"

"Wouldn't dream of it. I only need me myself and I…and Keine."

"You know she won't live forever, Mokou."

"I'd rather not talk about that. I'll cross that bridge when I get there. For now, I have to do a better job at bathing Koishi than you, Kaguya." Mokou scrubbed Koishi's arm some, letting the soap lather up, then wringed out the sponge she was using to wash the arm off. "Is that how they bathed you back on the moon?"

"Actually, yes." Kaguya was still washing Koishi's hair; a task she'd been working on since the event started. "How do you think my hair came out to be this beautiful?"

"Baths are meant to clean your body off; hair can be washed another time." Mokou moved over to Koishi's back, and started scrubbing. "Unless Koishi really likes her hair, there's no way you're going to win this competition by just washing her hair."

"Can you scrub more lightly," Koishi asked.

"Oh, sorry. Anyway, like I was saying, I could finish her whole body in just a few minutes if you don't start cleaning up her body too. _That_ is what a bath is for; not to focus entirely on your hair."

* * *

><p><strong>Five minutes later…<strong>

"Jeez, Mokou, quit scrubbing so hard!"

"Hey, shut up! I'll scrub just as hard as I want!" To make her point, Mokou started scrubbing even harder. "Because _you_, are not my boss."

"Mokou, cut it out! Satori warned us not to make her mad!"

"We're immortal, what's the worst she can do?" _Scrape._ It was barely audible, but Mokou picked up on the sound. She'd just cut Koishi's arm. "…oh, jeez, Koishi. Um…hang tight, I'll get-" _SLAM!_ "Damn!"

Koishi hurled Mokou against the wall, hard. Being cut didn't please her, not in the least. The bath was going great until that happened. The throw happened on instinct, and so did the part where Koishi leapt out of the bath, rocketing straight at Mokou like some kind of demon child. Once she made it, Koishi began delivering a series of brutal punches and scratches to Mokou's face. Koishi wanted to kill this girl!

"Stop her," Kaguya shouted.

That was Satori's cue to go into action mode. The older Komeiji sister instantly got out of her seat and ran over to try and get Koishi to stop. This was close to an everyday occurrence, so the solution should have been fairly simple. Simply grab Koishi's arms and start dragging her back. No good. When she tried, Satori got thrown aside by Koishi on instinct. "Okuu, Orin! We've got a Koishi emergency!"

And just like that, the hell raven and Orin were there. Both of them ran at Koishi from different sides, each of them grabbing the younger Komeiji sister by one of her arms. "Please stop this, Lady Koishi," Utsuho said. "We'll finish your bath for you, but you have to stop!"

"Let go of me," Koishi yelled, struggling to break free. "I'm not done yet!"

"Koishi," Satori said sternly. "That's enough. Leave Mokou be."

"…no. No. No! I won't leave her alone!" From Koishi's third eye, a number of tentacles shot out, throwing both Utsuho and Orin aside with little effort, freeing up Koishi's arms to continue her brutal assault. Now she started adding kicks and attacks with her knee into the mix, allowing Koishi to rapidly use all four of her limbs to assault Mokou while the tentacles from her third eye repelled anybody who tried to stop her.

"Eirin, do something," Kaguya shouted. Not much later did an arrow fly across the room. It was tipped with a needle, Kaguya noted as it flew past her. The arrow landed solidly in the back of Koishi's leg, injecting some sort of medicine. A tranquilizer, perhaps?

"Whoa. I feel…dizzy…good night, Satori." And like that, Koishi fell over on the ground, sleeping like a child. Granted, a naked child who had not seconds ago tried and almost succeeded at murdering somebody, but a child regardless.

"Good job, Eirin! Come on, let's get Mokou over to Eientei so we can fix her wounds!"

"Ah, why so eager," Eirin asked. "Are you worried about her?"

"Wh…what? No! I just…um…"

"Alright. Let's get her to Eientei."

"Good!" Kaguya ran over to the unconscious Mokou, and tried lifting her up. Her weak NEET body couldn't pick Mokou up! "Hey, can somebody else help, please?"

"Okuu," Satori said. "You get this girl where she needs to go. As for this event…given the state of how everything wound up, I think it's safe to say you've won, Kaguya. Hm? The score is five to four, and you're losing? You should win those last two events then, if you want to win the competition," Satori finished, adding a wink.

"I know." Kaguya really wanted to win the next event, whatever it was. It was these close victories that were the greatest!

* * *

><p>"And to think, just a few days ago I was the one on that same hospital bed," Kaguya said to Mokou at the side of one of the clinical beds in Eientei's near-legendary clinic, partially mocking her. "I warned you to not scrub too hard, didn't I?"<p>

"At least Koishi wasn't poisonous. Why didn't you fly when that snake came at you, exactly?"

"Oh, shut up! Be happy I decided to bring you here, at least. You still haven't even thanked me or anything!"

"I never got a thank-you for giving you all your Impossible Requests," Mokou wittily replied. "You're even wearing those robes again already."

"Well, yeah. I can't risk them being stolen again!" Kaguya stood up from the chair she'd been sitting on, and turned to the door. "Good luck tomorrow; I'll make absolutely sure all the luck and skill in the world can't win tomorrow's event for you."

"You do that. Oh, and may the best girl win, Teruyo."

"…what?" Kaguya furiously turned around with a fire-red face, and asked demandingly "Did you just call me _Teruyo_?" The smug grin on Mokou's face answered that for her. "H-How dare you! Don't forget that I'm a princess! A princess! You'll address me as Kaguya like you always have, and you won't identify me by any other name, ever!"

"Did I hit a nerve?"

"Quiet! If you weren't immortal, I'd pull the plug on you right now!" And with that, Kaguya angrily stormed out of the room, leaving Mokou to herself.

The phoenix-possessed girl didn't mind. She was all healed up by now anyway, so she started unhooking herself from the various machines that were attached to her body. She had to get home, sleep, and wake up tomorrow morning so that make a comeback after today's brutal loss. She did it all with an amused smirk on her face that she'd managed to make Kaguya so angry just by using a nickname. This was the kind of story she would tell to Keine, most certainly!

* * *

><p>"Really, <em>that<em> mad?"

"Well, I exaggerated about the spontaneous combustion part, but other than that, yep." Mokou couldn't help but laugh at the scene in her head. Not the spontaneous combustion part, mind, but the part about how angry Kaguya had gotten over a nickname. "But did she really insist on getting me into Eientei's clinic?"

"That she did." Keine took a bite out of a sweet pastry, and after swallowing, added "I was also surprised. I think her opinion about you is changing, Mokou."

"Don't say things like that," Mokou near-shouted with a rapidly reddening face.

"Oh? When you said you don't hate her, did you mean to say you _like_ her?"

"Not in a million years! Not now, not tomorrow, not _ever_ will I say such a thing!"

"Then you wouldn't mind if I threw out that Kaguya doll in your room?"

"…" Mokou's entire face went pale as a ghost. "…I'm not answering that."

* * *

><p>Kaguya lied down for bed, holding the little Mokou doll in her arms. After just lying there for a bit, Kaguya held the doll up, looked it straight in its red button eyes, and asked "What do you think? Do you think Mokou thinks of me the same way I think of her?" …no answer. Of course not! This was a doll she was talking to! Just yarn, thread, and a number of other materials, formed together in the likeness of Fujiwara no Mokou! And there was another one just like it, only it was in Kaguya's form and it was in Mokou's possession! "Or should I return you?" And then Kaguya heard her door slide open, and instantly moved the doll to her side where it wouldn't be seen by whoever had opened the door.<p>

"Princess, are you alright? I heard you talking to somebody," Eirin said.

"Oh, um…I'm fine, don't worry." Kaguya turned her head away from Eirin, and looked at the doll. "I'll be getting some rest now; need to get up bright and early for tomorrow's event."

"If you say so," Eirin said with obvious mistrust, as she slid the door shut. She couldn't help but applaud herself mentally. Two weeks ago, Mokou would be trying a nocturnal raid at this hour, or Kaguya would be hunting her down. Since this competition had started, all sorts of things were changing between those two; Eirin could see it.

"My, how things can change," she mused quietly to herself.

* * *

><p><strong>Only two events left; one judged by a character that didn't appear in any official games (and not many fan games, either), and one by an EX boss. It's a real shame Mima-sama hasn't appeared in this fanfic, but she's a rare treasure, so I guess that's okay. Part of me wants to write a fanfic all about Mima, and maybe Yuyuko as well since they're both ghosts. Maybe, just maybe…<strong>

**Wait…theories on Yuyuko's death, plus Mima's sprite in HRtP…**

**Plus the fact that one's an evil spirit and one's the hungry ghost.**

**Processing and converting…**

**Holy crap. Azure, PM me when you have spare time. I MUST bounce this idea off you! Not only is it a new theory on Yuyuko's cause of death, but an idea for a fanfic**


	14. Chapter 14: As Imperial Scrolls Fortell

**I got to have a lot of fun writing this chapter, especially because of the event. There are spoilers at the bottom of these author notes, so be careful if you like surprises!**

**Anyway, there's lots of UnendingEmpire-brand silliness in this one, meaning silliness that can go a bit over the top but still sticks to the plot. Think kind of like Tom And Jerry. Wait, why is that the best example I can come up with?**

**Whatever. Enjoy this chapter, and the fun-to-write event, which is…**

**Storytelling.**

* * *

><p>Kaguya was up before the sun today. She had to win this event. She <em>had<em> to! If she didn't, Mokou would be declared victor of the entire competition! She'd come so far; Kaguya refused to let herself lose this event! She would win this, and the final event afterwards! "Eirin," the Lunarian princess said, looking out at the sunrise. "I'm ready to go."

* * *

><p>"Let's get this done," Mokou said to Keine. It was time for event number twelve, and Mokou took another look at the score Keine kept updating throughout the competition. Six wins for Mokou, and five for Kaguya. Winning this would make Mokou the final victor, and losing it meant that the two moved on to the final event after a one-day break. Mokou didn't really care if she won or lost this event, and was partially considering even throwing the event so that the two could go on to the final event.<p>

* * *

><p>"It's easy," the guest judge explained. "One of you will tell us three a story, and then the other one. Whoever tells the best story is the winner." Tokiko nodded happily, and sat down on a nearby tree stump. "And I'm told that this could decide the fate of the entire competition? I'm sure neither of you will hold anything back in this awesome storytelling, then! We'll start with Mokou!"<p>

"You've got it," Mokou said. After clearing her throat, she simply started "It was an icy day in Gensokyo, and nobody sane went outside during the blizzard that raged across the world…"

* * *

><p><em>Kaguya sat in front of the heater in Eientei, her hands practically touching the surface. "It's so cold…"<em>

_ "Hello, Princess." Eirin nodded to Kaguya, or more accurately, the heater next to her. "I trust it's keeping you warm?"_

_ "As best it can…just how cold is it outside?"_

_ "Well, quite a leap lower than zero degrees, I'll say that much."_

_ "Brrrr!" Kaguya's entire body instinctively moved closer to the heater if it was possible. "Don't we have a thermostat or something?"_

_ "We do, but it appears to have frozen."_

_ "Our thermostat froze? We have to thaw it out somehow or we're all going to freeze to death!"_

_ "I already have any spare rabbits working on it."_

_ "But it's s-so cold in here…-achoo- I'm freezing!"_

_ "I'm sorry, Princess Kaguya, but-"_

_ "Lady Eirin," one of the rabbits shouted from down the hall. "Mokou's here!"_

_ "Very well. Princess, I take it…Princess Kaguya?" She was already gone!_

_ "Not during a blizzard, you damn birdbrain!"_

_ "Especially during a blizzard! Now you'll see just how weak you are compared to me, Kaguya!"_

_"Very well then. No matter how powerful you are, and no matter how weak I may be in comparison, I will show you that those from the moon are much stronger than any Earth human!"_

* * *

><p>"Wait," Kaguya interrupted. "Do you really think I talk like that?"<p>

"Well, how would you prefer I say it?"

"A bit more like…"

* * *

><p><em>"Now you'll see just how weak you are compared to me, Kaguya!"<em>

_ "Bring it on!"_

* * *

><p>"…and in the end, fighting me and my fire powers warmed Kaguya back up. The end."<p>

"That's it," Kaguya asked. "No rising action, climax, none of that?"

"The climax was the part where you yelled 'bring it on' at me."

"Didn't seem that climatic…"

"Oh, yeah? Well what did you have in mind?"

"Ladies and Mokou-"

"Hey!"

"Shut up, birdbrain! Ladies and Mokou, let me tell you an awesome tale about Teruyo the Elven Warrior; a humble prisoner who rose to become the champion of the world and the individual most responsible for saving the universe from destruction!"

* * *

><p><em>Teruyo looked at the inside of his prison cell, it was an old and dusty thing. Across the hall from him was another elf prisoner, but he was rather sharp of tongue. And then Teruyo's ears picked up on conversation.<em>

_ "We don't know that, sire. The messenger only said they were attacked."_

_ "No, they're dead. I know it."_

_ "My job right now is to get you to safety…what's this prisoner doing here? This cell is supposed to be off-limits!"_

* * *

><p>"You probably stole that straight from some game you play!"<p>

"Hey, shut up! So Teruyo followed the king and his bodyguards out of prison through a secret escape route that lead through his cell. But just before they made good their escape, an assassin appeared from out of nowhere, and struck him dead on the spot!"

"Teruyo or the king?"

"The king. He gave Teruyo a royal necklace that he was to deliver to an old monk living out in a small priory. The monk directed Teruyo to a city where the king's only living son resided. But when Teruyo got there…"

"Let me guess. Was it destroyed?"

"Maybe…"

* * *

><p><em>"Stand back, civilian," the guard captain ordered. "This is no place for you, get back to the encampment at once!"<em>

_ "I'm here to help," Teruyo said boldly, staring over at what may as well have been the gates of hell itself. "I'll do whatever I can."_

* * *

><p>"He daringly entered the gate, found a tower inside, and removed the stone from the top! The gate closed all around him, and Teruyo was now free to enter the city! Once he was in, he found the guy he was looking for; the king's last son. Teruyo brought him back to the old monk, and together they traveled out to a fort far in the North. Teruyo was handed many tasks there, some important and others not quite as much, but he did them all without hesitation."<p>

"There's no way you made all this up in the time it took for me to tell my story," Mokou said. "You took it from a game."

"I said shut up! And eventually, the son was ready to be crowned king and to stop the demonic invasion once and for all! But it was too late. The enemy had flooded the capitol city with Teruyo and the king right in the center of it all. The two fought bravely through, until they reached the city's temple."

"Oh yeah? What happened next?"

"The king told him that there was still one way to save the world. He wished Teruyo the best, and that he was sorry he wouldn't be there to help repair the damages done to the world."

* * *

><p><em>The last heir burst into flame, and soon took on the form of a massive dragon composed seemingly entirely out of fire! It was by that dragon's power that the enemy was sealed away back to his demonic home, never to be seen in the mortal world ever again! But at what price? The royal bloodline was gone.<em>

_ "You will be missed…Your Majesty," Teruyo said._

* * *

><p>"The end!"<p>

"That was a horrible ending," Mokou said angrily. "I was sort of hoping that you would surprise me at the end there…okay, the dragon part was kind of surprising, but still!"

"Let the judges decide," Kaguya said. "Well, judges, what do you say?"

"I found Mokou's story to be rather amusing," Eirin said. "Despite its shortness and lack of general plot. If it weren't for those two things, I would say she should win, but since this isn't the case, my vote is for you, Princess Kaguya."

"The same," Keine said.

"And there you have it," Kaguya said. "It doesn't even matter if Tokiko liked your story, I have two votes that I win, and that means I win!"

* * *

><p>"Do you think I rubbed it in too much, Reisen?"<p>

"No, no, not at all. Well…a little. And isn't Mokou right that you did take that from one of your games?"

"Hey, it's one _big_ game, alright? And the sequel took five years to make. I tell you, games of that caliber are five-of-a-kind."

"Five?"

"Yeah. Arena, Daggerfall, Morrowind, Oblivion, Skyrim. Five."

"Is this also the game with that Wabba-thingy you want us to make?"

"As a matter of fact…" Kaguya turned to Reisen, and stopped mid-sentence. "I'm sorry, but I can't take you seriously with that lime green hair."

"I'm grateful I didn't gain or lose any body parts this time," Reisen said. "We've been working on that thing of yours for a long time, and I think we've actually almost finished it."

* * *

><p>"Have you heard such a story before, Keine?"<p>

"Hmm…let me think…I'm afraid not. If it's from the outside world, wouldn't you be best off asking somebody from that world?"

"Fair enough. I'll try the Moriya Shrine tonight. For now, what's tomorrow's event?"

"None. You two get a one-day break tomorrow before the final event. Trust me, you'll need it. If you'll excuse me, I have make sure Eirin went to tell our guest judge that we'll be seeing them the day after tomorrow."

"Why would Eirin specifically have to go?"

"…Let's say that it would be problematic for me." _I think I just dodged a bullet there._

* * *

><p><strong>Again, I had lots of fun writing this, especially writing Kaguya's story in such a way that I'm not really copyrighting Oblivion. I'm sure I could have gone all-out with copyrights there, but since this isn't an Elder Scrolls fanfic, I didn't want to take the chance.<strong>

**I wrote an Elder Scrolls fanfic once, but it came out horribly. I tried writing another one afterward, but I couldn't even finish one chapter. Anyway, after the next chapter comes the final event! I'm so happy, I could just pull out your intestines and strangle you with them!**

**Let me know who you think the final guest judge is, alright?**


	15. Chapter 15: Fujiwara Family Honor

**Despite it not having one the hilarious events that make the backbone of this story, this might actually be the best chapter in the entire chapter, even if at least half of it is dialogue. There's no problem with that, especially when all of it's relevant! Also, I had to go back to the early chapters to find out where Mokou was living for the duration of this competition (Keine's house in case anybody else forgot) and my original intentions to only have ten events are very clear in that chapter; Eirin says, and I'm paraphrasing here because of funky grammar:**

"**Depending on what they make, it could be a sign that things are working out like this decathlon like they should."**

**Speaking of Dr. Death (bonus points to whoever gets it) she pretty much does a re-cap of how Kaguya and Mokou have been changing throughout the competition.**

* * *

><p>"Good morning, Mokou."<p>

"Hey, Keine." Mokou sat down at the table, too half-asleep to be hungry right now. "So today's our one-day break?"

"Yep. Anything important you have to do, get it done today. Tomorrow's event could take a while between setting it up and having you two actually compete."

"Anything important…I'll be back." Mokou ran into the back of the house, and seconds later ran back through like a red and white blur, with a smaller pink blur in her hands.

* * *

><p>"Princess, wake up."<p>

"Nng…what is it, Eirin?"

"Today's your break. I figured you didn't want to waste it sleeping in all day."

"Really, now? What if I did?"

"Then I'll leave you to it," Eirin said. "But it's such a beautiful day outside. Also, if you have anything important that has to get done, I recommend doing it today while you have free time. Tomorrow's event is difficult, a little risky, and probably quite lengthy."

"Important things? Let me think…oh!" Kaguya got up to her feet, and said "Thanks for reminding me. You can go back to what you were doing now. I'll go alone."

"Alone? Princess, are you sure?"

"Certain. The competition isn't over yet, so Mokou and I still aren't allowed to fight."

"Indeed you can't…best of luck to whatever you're doing, Kaguya."

"Thanks, Eirin." Once the brain of the moon was out of her room, Kaguya went over to her shelves. The little Mokou doll was sitting on a shelf above most of her games; a shelf she'd been trying to find something special for. The Lunarian princess took the doll off the shelf, and started to head outside. There was something important she had to do…

* * *

><p>By now, Mokou knew the Bamboo Forest of the Lost like the back of her hand. Especially ways of getting to Eientei; there had been plenty of infiltrations when she and Kaguya were practically at war. But now she had to go there for a different purpose…<p>

"Watch it," Kaguya said in frustration after Mokou bumped right into her.

"Oh, Kaguya! W-What brings you out of Eientei?"

"I have important stuff to do, Mokou. So…why aren't you with Keine?"

"Important stuff, same as you. I was actually, um…heading out to Eientei to find you."

"Really? Wh-What a coincidence. I was actually heading out to find _you_."

"…"

"…"

"So…"

"Reisen found this at the doorsteps of Eientei," Kaguya said, holding out the Mokou doll. "I figured you would want it back. I just haven't gotten around to it until today."

"Oh?" Mokou held out the Kaguya doll, and said "Somebody sent this over to Keine's house, and I've meant to return it…I've just been busy with the competition is all."

"…I put it there, because I figured you were lonely without your you-doll."

"Actually," Mokou said. "I sent that doll to Eientei."

Kaguya's face erupted in a sea of red. So Mokou was the one who sent this little mysterious piece of porcelain and other materials? "Y-You? But…why?"

"Let's sit down," Mokou said, evading the question entirely. "It's kinda uncomfortable standing up all the time." To make her point clear, Mokou had a seat on the ground.

"Yeah…"

"So, do you want this doll of yours back?"

"W-Well…not particularly."

"Oh?"

* * *

><p><strong>Some time later…<strong>

"Well, I suppose…I mean, I guess…"

"Guess what, Kaguya? You've been stammering on for the last ten minutes. Just say what you have to say."

"What I mean to say…I've felt kind of different since this competition started."

"The same."

"I-I mean, I _don't_ want to eviscerate you and hang your disembodied head up on my wall as a trophy."

"Me neither."

"I guess you could go so far as to say…"

"Love?"

"L-L…Love?" A thing far more powerful than any weapon; some saw it as the greatest of joys and welcomed it, and others believed it to be the deadliest of weapons that must be avoided. Kaguya was the latter; that was why she came up with the Five Impossible Requests. So that anybody who would love her would never be able to earn her love in return. Eirin was there with her when the idea hit her…Eirin!

_"Actually," Eirin said. "That was me."_

Yes…Eirin had stolen the Five Impossible Requests. She was the one who had them scattered across Gensokyo for a scavenger hunt, probably knowing that Kaguya couldn't even find her own hands if she didn't know where they were. Whereas Mokou was a guide for people who got lost in this bamboo forest, so she naturally had to be great at finding things that most people would miss. The picture was coming together for Kaguya. Eirin planned _everything_. She created this series of events to try and quell the heated hatred between Kaguya and Mokou. She probably even expected the whole doll-trading thing to happen, and that was why she'd pointed out that the Mokou doll was on that reserved shelf; the one shelf that nothing was quite worthy of being placed on.

* * *

><p>"I still can't quite forgive you for that, Eirin. Nor do I understand why you even did that to Kaguya in the first place."<p>

"Relax, Keine. Everything came out well in the end. Besides, capturing that snake was far from easy."

"Did you plan all of this?"

"Yep. From the very start. I expected the two to either make dolls of each other, or dolls of themselves that would be traded later on at night when nobody would see them. The thing with the snake was a little unfortunate, but it did certainly prove that Mokou at the least was experiencing changes, and Kaguya _did_ have the Mokou doll on a very special shelf; one that not even her Five Impossible Requests rest on."

"Interesting…please, continue."

"And then there was the scavenger hunt. I was with Kaguya when she created the idea of the Five Impossible Requests; that she would have all of them with her at all times so that nobody who sought out her love could ever hope to even come close. That was why I stole them and had that mouse youkai disperse them across Gensokyo; Kaguya is horrendous at finding things, so Mokou would naturally be able to win that event with a perfect score of five-zilch. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that they're talking to each other at this very moment, making love confessions."

"I'm amazed that you planned all of this out. I wish even one of my students had half the brain you do, Eirin."

"They don't call me the brain of the moon for nothing."

* * *

><p>"Do you plan to let your jaw hang open all day?"<p>

"Eirin knew…the whole time she knew, and she set it up."

"Hm?"

"Eirin set us up, Mokou! She knew we'd trade dolls; she knew you'd find all the Impossible Requests!"

"The five treasures you decided to keep on you at all times, so that nobody could ever earn your love. Looks like your plan's turned around. It's written all over your face; somebody may as well draw a giant heart on your face with my name on it."

"Love? It's strange…two weeks ago, I would give anything to see you dead. And now…"

"Don't stress yourself," Mokou said. "We still have one more event left, and I don't want you to hold anything back. I know I won't."

"…good luck."

"I don't want your words."

"Hm? Then wha-" _SMOOCH!_ "…Mokou…"

"Surprised? This is the first time you've felt in love, isn't it?"

"W-Well…I mean, I think so, but I can't really remember…I've been alive for a r-really long time, after all!"

"Me too. And I've been on about the same thing for hundreds of years. I guess I was being kind of spoiled and a bit of a daddy's girl. So…Kaguya, for everything I've done to you. All the times I've murdered you in cold blood, or made you miserable…I'm truly, deeply, honest-to-god sorry."

"M-Mokou…" Kaguya could feel her eyes welling up. Princesses didn't cry! But…ah, she was no longer a princess. Next thing she could tell, Kaguya's arms were around Mokou, with the ex-princess sobbing into Mokou's shoulder. "I'm sorry for all the horrible things I've done to you, Mokou! I'm so sorry, please forgive me! I've been selfish and spoiled and obnoxious and rude and so many other things that I haven't even bothered to try and accept you as a person! I'm sorry!"

"Hey, it's alright," Mokou said, running a hand through her hair. "You said you're sorry, right?"

"…Yeah."

"And with this," Mokou proclaimed happily. "The Fujiwara family honor is restored."

"W-Wait, what? No! No it isn't! I-I mean…not yet, at least." Her face was red again. Today was a huge basket of confusion and emotion for Kaguya. "Um…I'll see you tomorrow, alright?" And with that, Kaguya sped off towards Eientei.

* * *

><p><strong>The Fujiwara family honor is ALMOST restored! Did I mention that there will be a couple more chapters after the final event to tie up any loose ends? Oh, and that Wabbajack that Reisen and them have been trying to make since the start of this fanfic? That might be one of the loose ends. You'll have to just wait and find out, won't you?<strong>

**Anyway, I meant to hint before to Eirin being the one to send the snake out for Kaguya, but…oh, remember when something was bugging Keine a couple chapters back and she didn't want to talk to Mokou about it? That, and I'm not making this up, was because she'd learned Eirin sent the snake! Wow…Eirin suddenly seems like either an antihero or one MAJOR villain.**

**And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I don't get sick or seriously injured; so I don't have to go to the hospital!**


	16. Chapter 16: Unknown Scarlet Event

**You might have noticed that this chapter is substantially shorter than my usual ones; about half the length that I usually write. This time I have a reason. I want to leave you hanging in suspense with perfect knowledge of what the event is, and it also means I get to have this chapter uploaded sooner :D**

**Here's a little fun fact. You know the Stage 6 theme from UFO, Fires of Hokkai? That's the only song I played while writing this chapter because it just fit perfectly despite the fact that there aren't any UFO characters in this chapter, nor are any even referenced. Go find yourself a 10-20 minute version of Fires of Hokkai and listen to it while you read this chapter. I assure you, it won't disappoint!**

* * *

><p>This was it. The final event. Mokou looked out the window of the room Keine had given her for the duration of the competition. It would be her last day living here, and then it would be back to her little place in the Bamboo Forest of the Lost. "Alright," Mokou said. "I'm ready. Whatever kind of event is getting thrown my way, I'm not gonna hold anything back." On her way out the door, Mokou took a look at the scoreboard one last time. On this day of the final event, Event Number Thirteen, the score was six wins for Kaguya, and six wins for Mokou. Tie game. This event would decide everything.<p>

* * *

><p>"I'm ready to kick some ass," Kaguya boldly said. "Eirin, let's get going. I'm not going to ask about the event; I'll let the guest judge do it."<p>

"Oh, but our guest judge doesn't even know she's involved in this. We'll need to speak to a relative of hers to get the explanation."

"I'm only asking you this out of sheer morbid curiosity, Eirin, but why can't the guest judge just explain it herself?"

"She's, well…"

* * *

><p>"Unstable," Remilia said, running her finger along the side of a massive steel door, hidden well out of any way in the Scarlet Devil Mansion. It was just Kaguya, Mokou, and the Scarlet Devil. Keine and Eirin had been left at the front gates when the nature of their visit was explained. Remilia never trusted anybody near this door. Today, she had to make two exceptions, however frustrated it left her. "That's why this door is so reinforced. And that's why nobody ever goes down there besides residents of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, and even then, our visits are brief. Eirin explained to me that you two are immortal; that you'll get back up after you're killed. Let me establish something. That immortality is the <em>only<em> reason I'm even showing you two this door, let alone allowing you to enter the basement."

"You still haven't explained," Kaguya said. "Who is down there, and why are they so unstable that you have to lock them behind something like this monstrosity of a door?"

"…my sister," Remilia confessed. "Flandre Scarlet. The event is simple. I've had Eirin make some charms that are on this door now; charms to that when one of you dies down there, you'll resurrect up here. Flandre's been awfully bored lately, and hasn't had any new playmates in quite some time. I'm sure she'll be ecstatic to have two new playmates at the same time. And that's where the event comes in. Whichever one of you can stay alive down there for the longest amount of time will be declared winner."

"S-Survive? You mean one of us is going to _die_ down there?"

"It was Eirin's idea."

"…I don't want to do this."

"You have no choice. Eirin has told me to make sure neither of you leave the mansion until a winner is determined." Slowly unlocking the countless mechanisms on the door, Remilia said "Best of luck to both of you, and may God have mercy on your souls."

"…"

"We're immortal," Mokou reassured Kaguya. "Besides, we'll resurrect away from this crazed little sister, so it's all fine in the end."

"I know that," Kaguya replied nervously. "But what's got me worried is what happens to the _loser_. We don't know that! What if they forget one of us is down there, and they leave the loser down there for the rest of her life?" The idea of being in the same room as somebody crazed enough to be locked behind this kind of door frightened Kaguya, let alone having to survive. That implied that Flandre's idea of games was a very twisted one; one that involved lots of violence and destruction. Were the two allowed to fight back? Could Flandre kill them in an instant? So many unknowns buzzed through Kaguya's head.

_CREEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK._ "I'll see one of you soon," Remilia said. "And I'll get the loser out of there, don't worry."

"Alright…let's do this."

* * *

><p><strong>Jeez, I even left myself hanging in suspense here! So, did you listen to Fires of Hokkai while you read this? If not, go back to the beginning and read it with the song playing. I just did the same, personally, and it certainly does add effect, especially toward the end!<strong>

**Oh, also, this is completely unrelated to this or any fanfic, but I'm having some trouble with WinMUGEN Plus. To be blunt, the game takes a shit all over my soundtrack; the audio sounds like somebody ran it through a cheese grater and the little shreds are going through somebody's digestive system. Anybody know how to alleviate that issue? I'd really like WinMUGEN Plus far over the original MUGEN were it not for this one issue alone. …well, that and Flandre literally broke my WinMUGEN when she was my opponent in arcade mode. I'm not kidding.**


	17. Chapter 17: And The Winner Is X!

**You'd think a chapter this short would take less time :|**

**No big deal. See, I moved! I don't like this motel much, but it's only temporary, and I just got my computer back yesterday (would have uploaded the chapter yesterday when I finished it, but I used all my library time yesterday before I got the computer)**

**Anyway, I think I might have come short of what you all expected of me on this chapter D: I hope I don't disappoint!**

* * *

><p>Kaguya and Mokou carefully walked down the steps to the basement. If what Remilia was saying about this little sister was true, the two would be given quite a run for their money here. And just before the two got down the last step, they looked at each other for a moment.<p>

"Good luck," Mokou said.

"You too."

"Remember. Don't hold anything back. Put everything on you winning here, because I'm sure as hell gonna give you a run for your money even if you do your absolute best."

"Is somebody there," A third voice asked, echoing off the basement walls in a bone-chillingly eerie way.

"…let's go back," Kaguya whispered.

_CREEEEEEAAAAAAAK…CHOOM!_ Well, the door was closed now. No way were the two getting out of there alive now.

"No, nobody's here," Kaguya lied.

"Are you sure?"

"Yep, absolutely certain of it. Nobody here, Flandre, so just go about-_AAAAAAH!_"

* * *

><p>"I wonder if they're trying to hide," Eirin asked. And not much later did Kaguya's scream echo out to the other side of the door, near which sat herself, Keine, and Remilia.<p>

"Flandre found them," Remilia said as the scream sounded. "Back in the outside world, I used to use the basement as a torture chamber, but then Flandre started killing them too fast so I had to have a torture chamber built deep within the mansion."

* * *

><p><strong>An hour in…<strong>

"I'm surprised," Remilia said. "I wonder how they're holding out down there?"

_Pichuu~n!_

"Oh, it's over." And in front of the two materialized the form of the loser coming back from the dead. And the loser of this event was…

_What happened,_ she asked herself. _Oh, that's right. I lost…_

* * *

><p><em>"Keep dodging," Mokou shouted. "You're not bad at this!"<em>

_"You neither," Kaguya shouted back, much more panicked than Mokou. "Oh, crap! A corner!"_

_"Kaguya, look out!"_

* * *

><p>"Welcome back," Remilia said. "I'll get our victorious champion out of the basement. For now, rest and recuperate, I'm sure you'll need it."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>The next day, not far from Eientei…<strong>

"Well, I'm glad those days are over," Kaguya said, taking a bite out of an ice cream cone. Hers was vanilla, and Mokou's was blueberry. "That competition was pretty intense."

"Especially that last event."

"Oh, I meant to ask you yesterday, but we were both pretty exhausted…"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you do that?"

* * *

><p><em>"Kaguya, look out!" In that split-second, where Flandre's arms were swinging down this massive sword to strike Kaguya dead, Mokou's mind started racing at a mile per minute. She'd done her absolute best in the entire competition, and today would decide the winner. Mokou could have easily just let Kaguya meet her fate, or she could have intervened; jumped in the way and sacrificed herself instead. The Fujiwara family honor was restored just the day before; that was all Mokou really wanted. This competition meant nothing to her.<em>

_Mokou jumped._

* * *

><p>"I guess winning didn't matter much to me."<p>

"…"

"You alright?"

"No. My ice cream just melted."

"Sorry about that," Mokou chuckled nervously. "If it makes you feel better, mine's gone too."

"Hey, some of my ice cream melted into your cone! …trade?"

Mokou handed her ice cream cone over to Kaguya, and said "Sure, why not?"

* * *

><p><strong>The eagle-eyed and unforgetting among you (that have read all or most of my fanfics) will notice that this is a slight nod toward Poisonous Chinese Tea in a slight way. Every now and again, Meiling would end the chapter with that exact same line, usually when Suika offered her some sake.<strong>

**On that note, the very same fanfic ended with Mokou saying something. But this fanfic is entirely about Mokou and Kaguya, but just because the competition is over doesn't mean the fanfic is! I have a few more chapters planned to finish this competition-turned-love-story!**

**Mokou better get over to Kourindou and buy one hell of a suit ;D**


	18. Epilogue

**This is the final chapter, simply because I can't find any more to write for our two feuding brats. It's kinda short for me, but I think the words here are more powerful than those of most other chapters. Personally, I think the only chapter that trumps this one is the chapter where Kaguya and Mokou confess their love. As far as this fanfic goes, that's my favorite one.**

**Leave your review on this final chapter! I wanna know not just what you think about this chapter, but the story as a whole! Anything you didn't say in your other reviews; I want to hear absolutely EVERYTHING!**

* * *

><p><em>Roughly six months have passed since the competition between Kaguya and Mokou. In the months since, the two have developed one very healthy relationship with each other. Both were very happy with it. Kaguya no longer had an enemy in the world, and Mokou would never, ever be without somebody to turn to, even when the day should arrive that Keine perished. We pick up on the two during the first day of fall…<em>

* * *

><p>"It's weird," Kaguya said, looking out at the moon rising in the horizon. "Six months ago, I would have never imagined us in this situation. I wouldn't even imagine myself in this situation with <em>anybody<em>, much less you, Mokou."

"Life works in strange ways. And eternal life is much stranger than any mortal's life. But even eternity has to end sometime, doesn't it?"

"Hm?"

"Someday, something will happen. Maybe it'll be tomorrow, and maybe it's billions of years from now, but at some point, something's going to have to happen that will either render us permanently dead, or be so bad that we may as well be. I don't mean to be a fatalist or anything, but it's human nature to believe that kind of stuff."

"Then don't worry about it. We're both as immortal as can be, and whatever happens, even if every other person in Gensokyo dies; even if we're the last two people in the universe…well, we're still here, aren't we?"

"I guess so…" Mokou fished into her pocket. There was something important she had to give to Kaguya today, and getting it was far from easy. She had to go to Yukari, who decided to screw with her and make her go to Rinnosuke. And from there, it took Mokou five months to save up the money to purchase her own rightful property. After all, she was the last of the Fujiwara family. And the Fujiwara family honor was almost restored. _Almost_.

"Something bugging you, Mokou?"

"Kaguya…" Mokou pulled out a little black box, and said "We've known each other for longer than I care to remember. At first, I just hated your guts because of what you did to my father, but in that competition some time ago, I somehow started seeing past all of that. By the time it was over, I could go so far as to genuinely say that I loved you."

"I felt the same way," Kaguya said, reddening a bit at the cheeks. This whole "love" thing was still taking some getting used to for Kaguya. Spending one's immortal life turning down countless suitors will do that.

"Now I wanna prove it."

"Hm?"

Mokou popped open the little black box, and said "Kaguya…marry me."

"I-I…what?"

"Marry me, Kaguya."

"Uh-um…w-well, I-I mean there wouldn't be any harm in it, but…"

"Relax. Just one word is all I want."

"…yes!"

"And with this," Mokou said happily. "The Fujiwara family honor-"

"Not yet. We're not married just _yet_, so it's not restored at the moment."

"Well you're certainly the witty sort."

* * *

><p><strong>Two weeks later; Myouren Temple…<strong>

"Dearly beloved," Byakuren started, in front of her standing two immortals. One was Fujiwara no Mokou, wearing a fine black suit she picked up at Kourindou. The other was Kaguya Houraisan, either wearing or carrying all of her legendary Five Impossible Requests. "We're gathered here today-"

"Get on with it," somebody shouted from the crowd.

"…Right. Fujiwara no Mokou, do you take Kaguya to be your bride through all and everything, 'till death do you part?"

"I do."

"And Kaguya, do you-"

"Until death does us part," Kaguya said with pure ecstasy.

"Very well. By the power vested in me by the Myouren Temple and Gensokyo, I hereby pronounce you bride and bride. You may kiss the bride."

And not a second later did the crowd erupt in cheer. Mokou and Kaguya, face-to-face kissing to seal the deal that was marriage. "_Now_," Mokou said once the two parted faces. "_Now_ the Fujiwara family honor is restored."

"And elevated to new heights," Kaguya added. "Reisen, hand me _that_." And as the two headed outside, hand-in-hand, Kaguya was handed what looked like a metal cane ornately decorated at the top. Kaguya held it by the bottom, and looked up to the birds flying over the Myouren Temple. The Lunarian princess took careful aim, and from the end of the cane fired a red bolt. Direct hit! The bird became a red silhouette, and it began changing in shape. And once it was done doing so, the silhouette colored itself in to reveal that the bird had turned into a shark! The aquatic predator began plummeting to the ground as Kaguya smiled in delight. The Wabbajack worked as it should! "Good job."

* * *

><p>"And that," Mokou said, sitting next to a bed. "Is the story of how I met your mother."<p>

"Wait a minute," Kaguya said angrily from the doorway. "You skipped at least a couple centuries, Mokou! That's the story of how we got married. Go back to the part where we actually _did_ meet if you're gonna tell her about how you met me!"

"Alright, let me rephrase that, then." Turning back to the red-eyed child in the bed, Mokou said "And that is the story of how I married your mother."

"Thank you," Kaguya said.

"Then there's the story of how your mother met Reisen, but that's _really_ long and I don't know it."

"She'll get some Hourai Elixir when she's old enough," Kaguya said. "You have _plenty_ of time to share the story."

* * *

><p><strong>The end. Anybody who knows what show I nodded off to for a second there gets a few bonus points. Also, if you can guess what song I'm listening to, you get 9001 bonus points.<strong>

**Hint: It's a Dream Theater song between 20 and 30 minutes in length.**


End file.
